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I'm writing a LAP BAND BOOK!!!



Thursday, February 25, 2010

2/25/10 My DH Has An Addiction!

OMG!!! I just found out my DH has a terrible addiction he's been hiding from me!!!

Let me back up...now that DD is back living at home she's been noticing the same thing I have. My DH cooks WAY too much dinner for us. I'm constantly telling him that I don't eat that much anymore and he needs to pare it down. I'm always throwing out bins of leftovers and it makes me sick to do it...I had to really work on that one...as everyone here says 'better to waste than on your waist'...but it makes me sick to toss things. Anyway, so DD has been noticing the same thing and having a fit about it...ie. he made a hamburger casserole on Sunday (he's traveling this week)...there were 2 qts. of leftover casserole and more than 1/2 is still in there. He also overbuys things for the pantry...mention you like some food or need more of it and he'll buy you 10...he loves Costco-warehouse store...drives DD nuts...today her rant was about 2 packs of bagels she found in the fridge...'Doesn't he know that I'm the only one who ever liked bagels and I haven't been eating them since HIGH SCHOOL!!!' I don't complain...do you think I'm CRAZY (don't answer that)...THE MAN SHOPS...THE MAN COOKS FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD!...that and his heart is in the right place.

OK, that takes me to today. I've got four new appliances for the kitchen being delivered tomorrow...

...yes, we're single handedly turning the economy around, your welcome...

...no, it's tax return 'found money' because of a law change this year when we thought we owed...

...yes, you all have to put your tax return money back into the economy, them's the rules...I can't fix it all on my own...

...yes, the old ones are only 10 years old and totally falling apart (tip for Mom's; Don't store your milk on the door of the fridge or before you know it every tab that holds the door bins on will have been broken off by that devilish kid named 'Ididntdoit'). And someone please tell me why the replacement dish racks that rust out costs as much as a new dishwasher?...

...I know, 'they don't makem' like they used to'...

...yes, I got them in stainless, hidden controls dishwasher, convection oven, 4 + 1 long gas burners, french doors with a bottom drawer freezer, nice microwave...

...yes, yes, all very exciting, but...

...LET ME GET BACK TO THE IMPORTANT STUFF...THIS IS SERIOUS!...

So I'm needing to get ready for the delivery tomorrow. I spent a few hours moving everything from the fridge to the one downstairs (second full size fridge by the bar). Then I start on the freezer which is packed full upstairs...Well, a lot of it is breads, buns and bagels (again, he buys too much)...well, breads, buns and bagels don't have to stay in the freezer. I'm hoping there's enough room in the basement for the rest (just a freezer on top the fridge). Well, we only keep extra meat down there so I'm assuming there's room. I'm not usually in the basement fridge as he's the 'griller of meats'.

Then I found my DH's dirt little secret he's been hiding from me....

...he has an addiction...

...TO COSTCO!!!...LOOOOOOK:

The first three are meats that were in the small top freezer downstairs (and this isn't counting the ones still in the upstairs freezer)...



Yes, that's the icemaker bin...

...nope, no ice...

...full of brats and hotdogs...blech...

...DS1 however, has them every day...he has been addicted to hotdogs since he was two...

...just one problem...

...HE'S AWAY AT COLLEGE!!!

Oh, and I bought one small bag of mixed fruit for my protein shakes...you know, the ones I drank just post-op...

..oh, and I did have a few more after fills LAST SUMMER...

Well apparently someone didn't get the message that I don't drink these on a daily basis...

...Lest you think this is 'no big deal'...that's my FREAKIN FOOT there for a size comparison...

...These are GIANORMOUS bags of fruit...

...So which is it...

...is he having an affair with the lady butcher?

...or the 'Saturday Sample Lady' (as DS2 calls the ladies giving out free samples on the one day of the week DS2 likes to go to Costco)?

...I'm not complaining...

...I just think I need to have a Bander Party...

...who's up for a yummy fruit dacquiri?

...yes, you newbies...this counts as a 'full liquid'!

...and if we party until dawn I hear there will be delivery boys attending!

27 comments:

Jen said...

Holy MEAT!!! That is hilarious!!!!
Someone needs to give that man a Meat Intervention!!!

And, hells yeah, I'm down for a bander party!!! bring on the dacquiries!!!

LDswims said...

Oh, too funny! My sweet hubby does exactly the same thing. I DO complain. I send him to the store (thank God he loves to shop) for a spice and he comes home $50 later with roasts and steaks and chickens and lamb. It doesn't matter that our TWO freezers are STOCKED FULL. It was a bargain, he says.

It's only a bargain IF you wanted it in the first place AND you had room to store it. But we are now throwing out meat left and right because it's been in the freezer too long. WE ARE TWO FRIGGIN PEOPLE! We don't NEED to freezers full.

And don't get me started on the pantry.

Ok. I will. He would find something he wanted. Never EVER occurred to him to check and see if we had it already. And we ALWAYS did!

This lap-band potential has worked wonders on my sweet hubby's shopping habits. That's all I can say!

Too funny!!!

Enjoy your new appliances!

TracyZ said...

This was one of the most hilarious posts I have ever read. You definitely need to have a party to get through some of that food!!

Band-Babe said...

I'm glad we're not the only ones! Way hysterical.

workinprogress said...

Yep - I think there's a big bbq in your future!!!

Hilarious!

Sandy said...

Couldn't stop laughing. Too funny. I nag my DH to go shopping but it never works. He can only buy milk and I have to remind him to check the date. I think I will stop nagging and be thankful he won't step in a grocery store let alone Costco. I love the pic of the fruit. Guess you'll be happy finishing off all those bags of fruit.

But take a breath and decide if his Costco, big bags of everything addiction is better than the addiction that Tiger woods has?

Love your new appliances. I was told by a repairman that fridges only last 10 years now so you were due.

Linda said...

I'm not going to Costco this weekend - I'm taking a trip to your house. BTW - the pork tenderloins I saw in one picture are great in the crock pot! I get them a lot.

Rebekah said...

I want your frozen Wyman's wild blueberries! I'm addicted to those!!! What is it with men and the buying in bulk?!?! I think it's the "hunter/gatherer" thing!! haha....Is that frozen bananas???? too funny!

Gilly said...

That is so freakin' funny!!! My husband has the exact opposite problem! He will only buy EXACTLY what's on a list I give him. Even if he thinks we need it, he won't buy it unless I SPECIFICALLY tell him to! Sometimes I send him out with the instruction to "bring home something fun"...yeah...the man has NO concept of fun. Nothing but what's on the list! He's the one man who can come out of Costco having spent less than 50 buck!

Barbara said...

OMG.. I couldn't stop laughing as I scrolled through the pictures.. do you think he is yearning for a career change (like a restaurant chef or food buyer for a major institution).. I mean a least he is trying to buy in bulk to save in the long run.. but unless you have an NFL team coming over for dinner?? I don't even have good advice to give you.. only to say its better than some other type of addiction..:)

Lap Band Groupie said...

OK, grill's going and the party starts at 8. Don't you dare eat a bite between now and then...I've got 15 packs of hotdogs to use up and then we'll start on the beef and pork...it's a 'Let's Test Our Bands' Party (I'm good at that...not the band...the testing). Daquiri's are in the blender...Rebekah, you get a banana one. I've got 8 tubs of ice cream and 4 boxes of popsicles and you're all going home with 'party freezer-bags'.

Bonnie said...

If we can add a little rum to that fruit dacquiri I'm in like flynn. Reminds me of back in the "day" when I'd go out on Thursday nights for ladies night. Ahhh, memories. In all seriousness, I think you should send that food to a small country. They'll be in your debt.

Camille said...

What is it with men and meat (and fire)? He needs to combine the two and feed your neighborhood! The hot dogs are my favorite!

Lap Band Groupie said...

Oh honey, I didn't mention VIRGIN dacquiris!!! I've got at least 6 kinds of rum...we're set!

Dirttrackdiva said...

OHMIGOSH!!!! Laughed till I cried. Tears! Streaming! Down! My! Face! *deep breath*

OK, now that I've pulled myself together, there is a silver lining here. If you're stranded and can't leave the house for 10 years, you're good to go.

In like flynn, haven't heard that in ages. Classic. Well, since I'm in Ohio, I'm just a hop, skip, and jump from you in PA. I'll be over. I'll be late though, since the party starts in 20 minutes......think there'll be enough food left when I get there? :D

Enjoy the new appliances, post pics, they sound too sexy. lol

Maria said...

OMG Looks like My hubby has the same syndrome. NOt as bad as yours but it's like that. Well congrats on your new appliances..how exciting.

Maria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jacquie said...

LOL...my DH is the opposite.

Natalia said...

My husband shops in bulk too. He will actually go to the grocery store 4 or 5 times a week! And please God dont let him see something on clearance, he will fill a shopping cart - not matter what it is! I have thrown out so much stuff that has a clearance sticker on it that hasnt even been touched. Maddening! And I too, complain about it. I am grateful he does the grocery shopping and the cooking - but come on man, have some control. Men!

Anonymous said...

Holy cow! I thought my "ark shopping" (buying things in two's) was bad!! Your man has a serious hunter/gatherer, meat addict, grill master thing going on. Gotta love a man that shops and cooks though. You need to have a block party and clear all of that out! Too funny!

Elliana said...

Might I suggest a commercial walkin cooler and freezer for you DH's next birthday? This is why we love men...lol. Very funny post...

Unknown said...

BG, you are the tops girl. I'm at my BFF's and had to share all the pictures and post with her, we both cracked up! I'll be back in June and mentioned to Linda that we should get together somehow. I'll send you and email with more details! Remember, the first step is acknowledging you have a problem...heheheee...I'll forever think of Mr. SA as Meat Man from now on!!!

Anonymous said...

tee hee hee, that's a LOT of fruit!

I hope you enjoy your new appliances.

We sure could use some at our house. Take a sniff of the "new applicance smell" for me : )

Trixie

MandaPanda said...

My husband would definitely be like yours if we had an extra freezer. I am finally breaking him of this habit. Who needs this much meat?!?! Are you living with a college football team or something? WOW!

Rebekah said...

Heaven forbid your electric ever go out!!!!!! hahaha

Jen said...

This is so funny! I loved that you put your foot in the photo to show those GInormous bags of fruit.

lol!!

Girl Bandit said...

You are so funny!!!! We only have one costco in the whole of Australia and it is in another safe so we are safe for now....he needs to not shop for a few months ...even a year

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