2/25/11 Little Shop Of Horrors

Let's talk about BOOBs...no not those BOOBs, my boobs! Or lack thereof. The worst thing about my boobs is...getting a mammogram (especially after I lost my boobs somewhere along the WL journey...if you find them, please return them). Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't remind you to get your mammogram, if you're due.

OK all you big BOOBs, I don't want to hear you whining about how they smash your boob in the vice and it hurts....whaaa...whaaa. Here's how it goes for me vs. you;

• The poor gal running the machine always takes a look at my naked front as I disrobe like 'Oh Sh*t! A boobless one!'
• Yes, don't tell me you've not noticed the smile of appreciation she gives you.
• Then, with me close to the machine, she takes forever and struggles to get it lined up exactly right as she knows this will be critical in a moment.
• You get near the machine and she just makes sure that the shelf is below your boob...hopefully not at your knees (OK, I'm jealous...I hope that it's at least at your belly button).
• Now comes the fun part...getting 'no boob' onto the clear shelf. Step up to the machine and prepare to be dazzled and amazed! ...or is that mauled and mangled? She starts at my waist (where she just spotted, with extreme delight, my extra 'fat girl' belly skin) and yanks upward then forward (like my skin is Silly Putty!) onto the shelf (umm Oww!). She lets go and *poof*...the skin snaps back...then falls back to my belly...gravity (so not my fault).... Now she takes a hard look at me and I can see she's gearing up for the challenge...Uh Oh. She grabs my 'skin' extra hard (OK, now she's got the nipple as she's hoping that will give her some semblance of a boob on the shelf), pushes my back forward against the machine so my ribs are now pressing inward against my lungs, and yanks my boob forward so hard my panni is now on the shelf.
• You...she has you step forward and then raises the shelf under your giant boob up until it's sitting on the shelf like the boob of a perky 16 year old's (you're enjoying the moment).
• Now comes the vice...the other clear 'shelf' above my boob (that I thought was just a higher shelf for a very perky patient) is not a 'shelf' at all! It's now being lowered onto my upper ribs...then pinching downward onto my 'nipple'...OWWW! Just when I think my ribs are going to snap she stops the vice. Oh if it had only ended there, but no, she's teasing me for putting her through all this as she says (with just a little too much enthusiasm) 'Just a little more!'...the vice starts downward again...then stops...then starts...then finally stops...I'm screaming in my head...DOUBLE OWW! My head is now pointing downward as she's given me a reverse face lift and my deflated double chin is now pulled tight on my chest. As I'm looking down, I take a gander through the clear vice at my BOOB! OMG! I try to smile (but my face is now pulled downward so taunt that I'm frozen in a permanent frown). HEY, I HAVE A HUGE BOOB! For the first time I can't see my feet, not because of a giant belly, but because of my (one) GIANT BOOB! OK, it's paper thin horizontally, but I don't care...I have to find a silver lining somewhere in this little shop of horrors.
• You...she lowers the vice an inch onto the top of your giant boob...you say 'ouch' (out loud) and she raises it a little.
• She tells me not to breath (Who the frick can BREATH?!? Can't she see my LUNG is now in the vice!), as the now giant boob may snap back out of the vice if I do, and then we'd have to start over. Start OVER?!!! I'm now hoping if it does 'snap back' that it will be with such force that I'd sail backward into that wall protecting her from the 'rays' and take her out!
  
• She tells you to breath normally.
• I think I hear her talking, and about the point that I'm ready to black out, the top of the vice begins raising. Her voice comes in clearer now, "...done, you can step back now." Ahh, sweet relief as my head snaps back up and my now super stretched extra belly skin falls down to my knees. And then I hear it. Five words that brought tears to my eyes "And now, the other side!"
• She asks you to roll your giant boob off the shelf and place the other one gently on.

I wish I had taken a pic of the giant red 'V' on the upper ribs of my chest when I stumbled out of the room whimpering. I'm seriously thinking of getting a boob job now. Get your mammogram! If I can, you can...they save lives!
DD and I went to the ballet together last night. Fun for us as she used to dance competitively through HS, so it was something we really enjoyed doing! OK, terrible pic (my hair looked way better than this as I used a 'bump it' LOL), but she was running late so I only had time for one before we left her place.

And here we are in our seats after running through the pouring rain!

Happy Weekend all!

2/14/11 Ode To My Band

*Post Deleted for Book
---------------------------
I love you all! Happy Valentine's Day!!!

1/28/11 Simple Addition

1.

('THE BEAST')

+

(Snowblower Virgin)

=

Can someone please tell me if it's even possible to use one of these without it all blowing back into your face?


2.
(Teething Kitten...I thought only puppies chewed shoes)


+
(Asparagus Fern)
=
(What greets me every morning)
My plants will all be bald soon.

3.

+
=
'The Fill that Wasn't' (or 'Goal Limbo Revisited'):

Apparently the doc's my hospital were getting to take over the practice have been changed before they arrived. They called to cancel my long awaited fill appointment and promised they would call me with new availability very soon (they mentioned a few days)...

...that was three weeks ago...

...still holding onto (by my fingernails...make that my LB) 160-165...

:-(

Have I mentioned lately how important the Sweet Spot is?

10/18/10 Scary Story; How my Bellybutton is like my Stoma

*Post Deleted For Lap Band Book












...BOO!

10/11/10 Boo-Boo's

I'm such a klutz, but no worries, I'm OK.
Yesterday, I was finishing up the last piece of outside painting (the casing boards around our garage doors). As much as I tried to make this house maintenance free outside, there's still a few things to paint (I also repainted all the outside lights this weekend, remind me to show you as I need opinions). Actually, I only got the prep for painting underway. The paint was flaking so I was outside from 9am-5:30pm (until I wiped out) scraping off paint and then using the belt sander to get the final pieces off. OK, picture this; I was up on the ladder at the top of the garage door (feet about 4-5' off the ground), leaning a little to one side away from the ladder, with the heavy belt sander in both hands, and then....I turned on the belt sander. You already know what happened next...it grabbed the wood and pulled me right off the ladder (think America's Funniest Home Videos, but without the video).

I'm not sure what happened next, but I rolled and ended up on the concrete, in front of the other garage door, with a little less skin (wonder how much skin weighs LOL). I'm celebrating the season with a fall. I'm thinking it's a good thing that I weigh a lot less now or the outcome might have been much worse. DS2 happened to be outside mowing the lawn, so I waved him down to come help me up. I've got two skin knees (yes, even with long pants on, thank goodness), a skinned elbow, I'm going to have a huge bruise on the shoulder that I landed on, and I did something to my back and neck (hopefully just aggravated the osteoarthritis). I'm moving like I need a walker.

OK, let's find an upside...DS2 is off school today for Columbus Day, so I have the help I need to get the primer on to protect the raw wood (remember, DH left yesterday for the week). Oh, and I've decided that scraping (my bat wings were flying scraping that paint) and sanding paint off all day is an excellent workout for the arms...and if you tumble off a ladder...it can be considered aerobic activity!!

10/10/10 Ten over Ten to the Tenth

Kind of an ominous date isn't it? I wonder how many weddings happened just because of the date? It certainly is a beautiful weekend here. DH brought the sun back with him from his week away; just left early this morning for another week of travel (I hate it when he has to travel on the weekend, but that's life). It might just hit 80 degrees here today!

Here's some pics of DS2's first Homecoming...He's pretending here that parent's don't exist (and was he ever shocked that everyone's Dad's and Mom's were at the girl's meet-up house to take pics...he thought we'd be the only ones LOL).

Guess who decided to link arms and is mumbling jokes under that smile?

We lucked out and the before pics were in our neighborhood...at the gazebo (I love that the girl's plan everything now that I'm down to my last boy; dinner, dance, and a bonfire after...yes, I waited up for him...he had a blast and he's still sleeping it off).

Don't the girls look beautiful?!

One of the Mom's yells 'Do something funny!'...What does my kid do? Jump into the arms of the guy next to him!

10/1/10 Who Told You You're Allowed To Grow Up?!

We spent last afternoon and evening at three stores getting DS2 a shoulder to toe outfit for the Homecoming Dance next week...suit, shirt, tie, socks, belt, and shoes...I said 'shoulder to toe' because he wanted a top hat...yes, a top hat...Where would one even buy a top hat these days? He said he wanted a cane too and that he wanted to go as Mr. Peanut...funny boy....I informed him it wasn't a Halloween costume party.

Just one thing I want to know...WHO TOLD YOU YOU'RE ALLOWED TO GROW UP?!

What happened to my little baby (second from the left below)?!!



Yes, thanks to your suggestions (thank you) and then 4, count them 4 trips to the Target Photo Place (after getting some of them done on the Staples-not-so-photo-quality copier) to redo the bad ones (over and over because the Target scanner sucks and left smudges and lines every time...you wouldn't believe me if I told you what I went through...let's just say the gal felt so bad that she gave me a full refund and I didn't even ask or complain)...the hall is done (thanks again Diane for the wall quote).

OK, almost done...I'm still considering the quote for the other wall (there's my baby again second from the right...God I feel old). As my youngest sister reminded me...we'll be moving soon...every house that we've lived in, the minute I hang a wall of kid photos we move...so I waited 9 years and this is the longest we've been in any home...wonder where we'll be moving...somewhere warm I hope...it's freezing here, but I digress...

OK, he's still my baby...see...this is how he really felt after hours of shopping with Mom (and then I made him try it all on again at home)...Do I dare tell him to tie his shoe...I think not...he's got to have some level of independence now that he's in High School...
...do you think he'll let me chaperone the dance?...hee-hee.

Happy Weekend all!

9/16/10 Letters From The Dark Side

Dear Tar-gét,

Haven't I been a loyal customer? Wasn't I the one who stood by you and noticed the small changes when all others saw you fading away like Gold Circle and K-Mart? Haven't I single-handedly kept you in business with my college kids, home redecorating, and my many, many, 10% off coupon days cartloads?

Why then, when I needed you most, was in my time of need, and even got DH to come home early to help me, did you let me down?! Didn't you hear me earlier when I said I've been through four days of hell trying to print these d*mn photos at home and now I was finally coming to you to save me?! Did you see my face when I walked in to find ALL THREE of your photo machines were OUT OF ORDER...and the entire photo shop?!

Tar-gét, I'm not sure I'll ever feel the same way about you again...your loss.

Love, Regards,
-BG

P.S. Please apologize to the Manager for me...when he came over to explain that the whole photo shop would be down for at least three days with major problems, I think we scared him a little with my 'stink eye' and DH looking at us like one of us was going to die (I wasn't really going to kill him).

---------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Walgreens,

I hate you. What the h*ll are you doing training your employees so well! After stopping at four (more) stores we finally found a photo scanner at your store with a cheerful employee ready to help me.

That is, until he saw that I was scanning professionally done photos at which point he spewed out the entire employee handbook on photo copyright laws. Apparently even though the 25 photos that I wanted to scan and change to black and white were taken 10-20 or more years ago I have to go back to every photographer and ask for written permission to scan them...unless the photographer is dead...and he could give me the copyright law sheet that covers how many years they must be dead and how to get permission...blah, blah, blah.

Um...25 photos...each with my screaming babies taken in the back of some drugstore or dept. store that's now been out of business for 20 years?! I'm not sorry for what I said to your well trained employee...actually, I was way too nice...and I'll let you know where you can put that flier on photo copyright laws.

I hate you,
-BG

------------------------------------
Dear Technology,

This is to notify you that I'm officially filing for divorce...irreconcilable differences.

-BG

------------------------------------
DH,

I'm sorry I made you go buy photo paper and ink cartridges this weekend and then after screaming at you and the computer for 4 days (and making your life a living hell), I gave up and made you return them.

I'm sorry I almost gave you a heart attack driving around to stores tonight like a crazy woman on a death mission...oh, and for scarring you looking like a potential terrorist when the employees tried to 'help' me.

BTW the ball is in your court to hook up the other scanner upstairs, download new drivers and photo programs, scan and print...good luck. Sorry I can't help, my divorce from technology will be final soon. Oh, and you'll need to go and re-buy that photo paper and the ink cartridges...yes, again.

Love,
-BG

-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Box-O-Wine,

I love you.

-BG

9/2/10 Too Cool For School

New white tennies....$50.


New backpack....$35.


Being totally pissed off that your mom still makes you take the 'first day of school' photo even when you're now in High School...priceless.

P.S. DD got a second interview for the job tomorrow...keep those good vibes coming.

8/25/10 Only One Week Left to Post! SWA Contest

OK all you Scale Whores (Gigolos)...get off your scale for a moment and participate in our semi-annual meeting. If you haven't heard yet, this one is an 'interactive' meeting where you can tell or show (a pic will do) others why/how being a Scale Whore is a good thing (it's been the best tool in my box, well besides Fluffy and Phil that is)...put 'SWA' somewhere in the title...then let me know (send me a link/date of your post). How EASY (if you don't have a blog, send it to me and you can be a 'guest poster'; and if you want the complicated version, just click on the challenge pic on the right)...hey, you're already talking about your scale every day, how much easier can it get?!...and listen up...

...there are prizes involved! Yes my Whores (you know who you are Kath), in the spirit of my love for homemade crapfts (Lena, this one's for you!) I am bedazzling some lovely prizes for the three top winners (comments to your SWA post are the votes)...and today I am rolling out peeks (to raise your competitive spirit...you know you have one Sandy).

So here's the bedazzled Prize...it just screams 'You're a Whore!', don't you think?! I've created a new SWA logo with the rhinestones...look closely...yes, there's the big W, and closer...S...A...you got it! No Gilly!, I was not trying to make a vajayjay!!...I was shooting for a tiara look...like we're all queen's of our scale...you know........nevermind.

Anywhoo...so I'm ready to glue these babies on...and I'm not liable if they pop off and poke out one of your spouse's/partner's hmmm("eye's" just doesn't seem to cut it...or does it?)! Yes it's a thong (don't worry, it's a Lg....although why these aren't 'one size fits all' I have no clue...who gains weight in their butt crack?)!


I think I need some heart rhinestones on the rear...hmmm pretty small...

...nope, not going to do it...these d*mn things are uncomfortable enough without rhinestones in your crack!

Now, don't you want to participate in the challenge? I know you B*tches BOOBS (no yes, I'm not jealous...crapfting with thongs must bring out my potty-mouth...I don't know how you Whores wear these every day!) want to take these to wear to Chicago?!

Let me see a pic of you 'hearting' your scale...or a post about your scale weight spreadsheet...it's easy peasy (Don't forget to let me know).

I think we all need to talk someone (Andrew) into doing an SWGA blog so she he can win these (Oh d*mn, he's still on vacation, how dare he! How about Jack Sh*t?...he's on that scale hourly I'll bet).


*Portion of Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

8/20/10 Funny Guest Blogger Today (and a bloopers vlog)!

My guest blogger (why YES, that IS a pair of boxers he's using for a scarf (he was on his way to the shower), and a flashlight for a cigarette):

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

DS2 is my funniest one...he makes me laugh all day (I about peed myself laughing last night when we were playing a game/Scene It, and he and I were on the same team)...and remember, I married his Dad for his sense of humor, so that's saying a lot. Anyway, I showed him my shark pics awhile back and he read my blog and told me that my 'This Bites" blog wasn't funny. When you turn into a 15yo nothing your parent's do is the least bit funny. He said there's only one thing lately I did that made him laugh and he told me to tell you...but I'm too busy...cleaning up his messes...

...so he's taking over my blog as 'guest poster' for the day to tell the tale (Speaking of which, you haven't forgotten about doing an SWA Challenge post have you? Remember, just tell/show us how being a Scale Whore/Gigolo is a good thing and send me a note letting me know about the post (or 'guest post' on my blog) by Aug. 31, that's it...prizes will be awesomeness). So this is what a 15yo thinks is funny...I'm scarring my kids in all kinds of ways LOL...and I reserve the right to have the last word (me)...and to spellcheck (don't miss his attempt at a vlog...the effects got way too fun, and the bloopers at the end).


------------------------DS2---------------------------------

Hello Internet people. My Mom didn't tell me that she had surgery on her stomach. She lied to me (here comes Children's Services now) that she had a hernia surgery, which I forgot about (until I reminded him of the hospital overnights and told him about the LB...OK, almost a year post-band). So many months later, when she would regurgitate mucus and other mysterious slimes, I began to become disgusted and would hide under a pillow and start yelling 'La la la la' so I couldn't hear the death burps that would signify that she was going to explode (yes, at the beginning I would run to the bathroom, but it was happening so often before the unfill that I got lazy and stayed...OK, not so fair to those that we're also trying to eat I see) . I, of course, thought that she was bulimic (he didn't really think that...drama King).

I would drink out these orange cups (We have a stack of these orange plastic cups in the kitchen...I think I got them after Halloween) and I would leave them around places and my Dad would always take them and put them in the dishwasher (DH is always 'stealing' our cups out from under us while we're still using them...whenever he starts the dishwasher he needs every last thing in it first...he drives us all nuts when our cup disappears), so I took a sticky note and wrote "*my name*'s Drinking Cup" and stuck it to my cup of water.

I went downstairs to play a few video games with my Dad and then I came upstairs and took a drink of water out of my cup and then I noticed there was another sticky note on the back that said "Mom's Vomit Cup" (Why YES!, the orange cups are my go-to cups for PB's...which was happening way to often before the unfill, and hasn't happened once since). I made the most disgusting face of my life and I turned to look at my Mother to see her trying to conceal her laughter and she was making her 'old people laugh' (hisssss), where they can't breathe (it's just asthma...I never laugh that hard...*hissss*) and all they can do is make the exhale noise and their face turns red (nope, my face is tan baby, it's my 'BEST'). This is by far the only funny joke my Mother has ever told (that day). I snickered (he couldn't breath he was laughing so hard).

The bloopers (I lost it with the steroid forehead and 'You make them strong, we make them Army strong'):

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

8/18/10 Animal House

It was a VERY long and tough day yesterday...the photos will help tell the tale. After the long drive, we walked in to the attic room at the frat house that DS1 will be sharing with two other guys...

There was guy sleeping in the bunk bed...

...at 2pm...

...on a Tuesday...

...yay.

After 'Sleeping Guy' (DS1 explained that 'he likes to sleep a lot'...uh huh...does he really think I'm buying that?) exited (not one of DS1's new roommates...thank G*d) we met his two roommates (who haven't moved into the room yet...and didn't look like they just woke up)...really nice guys...one is a Senior (forgot to ask the other one), so I took that as a good sign that he hadn't partied his way out of school...yet.

Then we looked around...Trust me, the pics don't do it justice...'Sleeping Guy' is moving out tomorrow (his parents are coming to help...I'd love to be a fly on the wall) and his stuff was everywhere on the floor and surfaces...literally. I'm so mad I forgot to get a pic of the floor where his 'closet' broke. There are no closets in this room so he bought a two rod garment rack (the same one we bought DS1...Uh-Oh...We're sending supplies in a care package to tether it to the wall) and the remnants of it were all over a 10' x 10' area...rods...clothes (I'm still not sure if any of them were clean...even the ones still on hangers)...empty hangers...everywhere on the floor...mixed in with lots of trash.

So we took a look around at all the trash and mounds of 'stuff' (I'm being VERY generous with that word) everywhere (you could hardly walk) and all I could say was 'OMG!' (over and over again...until DS1 snapped me out of it with 'Mom! It's a Frat House!'...Oh yeah, WHAT WAS I thinking?!! D*mn DH for having been a Frat boy!)...it took everything I had to hold it together and not grab my baby boy and go running from the house (if I'd seen even ONE bug, it would have happened)...I was happy to see the hardwired smoke detectors, sprinkler system and fire escape stairs.

Apparently this attic room is the largest bedroom (it's bigger than it looks in the pics...it's a huge room) at the frat house so it becomes the 'party room'....yay.

All DS2 could say was 'WOW' and 'My EYES!, My EYES!'...Children's Services is going to be knocking on my door any minute now to take him away from me...I've scarred him for life. Here's DS2 checking out the party set-up...(I caught him later playing one of the guitars on a couch...all I could think was 'AHHH! He's sitting on that couch!!! You don't know where that couch has been!') Oh, and this was when we first walked in and before one of his roommates brought in his couch...making that now 5 couches in the party area...they were talking 'stadium type seating' at that point (I think 'Sleeping Guy' is taking a couch out...yay).

Then we shoved 'Sleeping Guy's' 'closet' and desk over to one side (you can see 'Sleeping Guy's' bunk on the left that he was sleeping in...at 2pm...on a Tuesday...with the bottom bunk completely broken off...oh, and look at the shelf of booze bottles above his head...explains a lot about his name don't you think?) to make a corner on the other (I'm officially dubbing it the 'non-party-side'...that's my story and I'm sticking to it) of the room for DS1. See that window...it's totally cracked and broken...with shards of glass on the floor right next to DS1's corner (we'll be sending some plastic and tape in our 'care package')...kill me now.

Then we 'swept' the trash and other grossness (you don't even want to know) out of his corner...let's just say his bare feet should never touch that floor...they would stick...permanently.

Then we set up his bed (Hells NO!... It's a bed/mattress we got him.) and his oak desk we brought from home (the desk we bought him on Craig's List has a tall cabinet and wouldn't work with the knee walls in the attic room). His couch, coffee table (he made) and mini fridge we placed on the party-side.

And four hours later...

Here's the 'After'...bed on big risers so there's room for tons of stuff underneath; 3 giant bins of food (Don't want my baby to starve), a small bin of cooking tools (for all the food), a small bin of kitchen cleaning supplies (that apparently will never get used), a bucket and cleaning supplies for the room (that apparently will never get used), a small bin of every kind of medicine (I reminded him of the antibiotics I put in there...just in case his feet ever touch the floor), and a totebag with laundry supplies (that apparently will never get used). He hung his 3 posters over his bed...to cover up the myriad of screws everywhere and random boards still attached to the walls (I'm guessing from former lofts, but what do I know...see the board way over his head...I made DH remove all the screws that were around his pillow area). There's his 'closet' (oh, and look, it's a towel rack and bookbag rack too!) at the end of the bed and his laundry hamper (that apparently will never get used).

See how happy he looks? We bought a few drawers and a two square bin holder to add/stack to his book cabinet from last year (since the Frat house can't afford closets...just big screen TV's and sand for basement 'beach parties'...OK, there's the up side I've been looking for...there could have been sand on his floor too). Look there's an alarm clock next to his lamp (that BETTER get used!). Apparently everyone in the house (except 'Sleeping Guy'...who can sleep at any time...even 2pm...on a Tuesday) hangs black out curtains around their bed space so they can sleep (you never know when there might be a party going on in the other/party-side of the room...kill me now...Do you think I could chain him to the non-party-side?).

Just past his 'closet' is the desk area stocked with supplies (also on the non-party side); he brought his desk chair up last weekend and has to still go and retrieve it. We hung his batik, the bulletin board and a dry erase board (screws were easy to find...yay). And finally, there's some shelves just before the door with a coffee and shower supplies station...and LOOK!...there on the floor! There's an actual trash can we brought (that apparently will never get used).

Yes, I actually left my son in this place (whispering to him not to have too much fun)...and I have the pics (evidence for Children's Services...don't laugh...I'm subpoenaing you all for the hearing) to prove his area was semi-safe and clean when we left. On the way home (after we stopped at McDonald's to wash our hands about 10x) I gave DH Holy He!! for being a Frat boy (trust me, our sorority house was beautiful with Ethan Allen furniture in every bedroom and real closets even, so I'm taking NO responsibility for this), but he reminded me of the day we moved him into his frat house six months after I met him and how bad his room looked when we arrived...apparently I have a selective memory (I'm just hoping I can forget how DS1's room looked...ever).

I don't want to hear ONE word from the rest of you dropping your babies off at college this year and how HARD it was...just remember...it could be worse (and for me, it is).

8/16/10 I'm Like An Old Leather Couch

How am I'm like an old leather couch you ask? Let me tell you...

I often 'get a bug up my butt' and start 'projects'. I'm always working on a 'project' around the house (DD looked at me last night working away and then looked at her Dad and said 'What makes her get up in the morning and say 'I'm going to label that closet or redo the couches today? She's always starting a project!').

After our company left this weekend I took a deep breath and realized that although summer had just begun for me a few short weeks ago, it was now almost over. I realized that for the first time this summer that I have nothing on my calendar for the next two weeks...OK, I've got two kids to get ready to go back to school, but other than a day trip 'drop-off' at college this week, I have no trips away from home for two weeks...I haven't had that since February.

So how did I celebrate this moment...I took that deep breath and realized that I'm looking forward to September and getting together my book proposal to start sending out...and then I realized that because I've been gone so much of the Summer I needed to get caught up on a few projects that need doing (and so I won't feel guilty about focusing on the writing).

First, I cleaned out my 'closet cabinet'...it's a deep cabinet in my kitchen that holds a ton of stuff and every time I came home from Mom and Dad's with kitchen stuff from their house I shoved it in there...with company here this weekend I couldn't find anything in there...well, you know my 'almost OCD' wouldn't allow that! Yes, I have a label maker and I'm not afraid to use it!


Then I was on to my leather couches. We have two twin couches in the Great Room that I've been neglecting for a long time...they're about 8 years old and besides the yearly leather treatment they needed, they were now at the point where they needed an 'intervention'. We went to the store to get my supplies and then I went to town. I started with one couch...used the leather cleaner...stitched up any places where the baseball stitching had come undone, ironed patches on any rips in the thin fabric (bottom side of the cushions), opened the cushions and put in new batting and added new fiberfill to the cushions, and conditioned and buffed the leather.


Here's the funny part...after all that work...

...my family is complaining. Apparently, they loved the 'old' couch(es) and it was 'soft', 'comfortable', 'wrinkly', 'relaxed' and 'cushy'...and the 'new' couch is 'overstuffed', 'hard', 'huge', 'stiff', 'awkward', and 'uncomfortable'.

As I fell asleep last night it occurred to me that all those adjectives described the new and old me's as well...I'm now unstuffed and oh so comfortable, relaxed, and wrinkly...I'm like an old leather couch you love...I'm back to my old comfortable self.

Oh, and I'm on to the second couch today...the family will just have to suck it up and do the 'work' to get the couches comfortable again...I'm sure with a little time and hard 'work' they'll both be back to their old, comfortable selves again in no time.

8/4/10 This Bites!!!

I called my kids down for dinner last night and they came down screaming 'Change the channel!' 'Quick! Change the channel!!' 'Discovery Channel Mom!'

'What? Huh?' I thought nuclear bombs might be going off somewhere...maybe Discovery got the first scoop?! I quickly changed the channel as I'm saying 'What's going on?!!' and then I hear...

'Mom, haven't you heard?!!' 'It's SHARK WEEK!'

Oh...yippie...how did I miss that announcement...and look...

...tonight's episode is "Shark Bite Beach" that 'recounts the horrific tales of six people and their shark bite stories'

...apparently we all look like a shark's favorite food from below...a swimming seal (I take some solice in the fact that at least I'm not looking like a beached whale anymore).

And yay...

We get to see the shark sneak up on them as they're frolicking in the ocean...


and...what's THAT? Holy BASS-O-MATIC BLENDER!!!...Is Moses turning the water's red again?!! Dear G*d!! AHHHH!

Oh no you di'nt?!

So it was an hour of watching this...

...and this...


...and did you have to share your scars with me???!!!!


Their website (just in case you're planning a trip to the beach, you can watch whole episodes here http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/shark-week/)

and their add campaign this year asks

'How Are You Celebrating Shark Week?'

Well, duh...

Right now I'm packing up my car...

we're headed to the Jersey Shore in the morning...

We're going to the ocean...THAT'S how!

...I may not get in.

...EVER

...AGAIN!

Good timing Discovery, good timing.