I'm on a new journey to pay-it-forward & with the support of my Groupies/friends...

I'm writing a LAP BAND BOOK!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

3/25/10 I'm Coming Back Home

I love the song 'Home', Michael Buble. Here's the music if you want to open a new window and have something to listen to while you read (sorry, I have no clue how to embed this).
It always makes me think of growing up home (pic below I took in '72; there's a huge tree in the front yard now and the landscaping is all redone). OK, now I'm tearing up listening to it.

I'm leaving tomorrow...for my parents house in Ohio to help them get the house ready to sell. They've found a beautiful little retirement place just about 30 min. from where they live now and they put their down payment on a brand new condo (one of those with two homes stuck together) and they need to sell the home, so the house goes on the market May 1st.

It's going to be a bittersweet move for all of us. I'm so happy that they've found a place they love and that they're doing this when they wanted to and not because they have to or someone needs care suddenly. My biggest fear was that one of them would have a fall or health problem and then they'd HAVE to move somewhere they didn't want to go, so this is a good thing.

The move is going to be a traumatic one though for all the family. We're all trying to be upbeat about it, but there's so many memories tied to that home. They've lived there for 43 years. The longest my family has been in one home, by a long shot is this one, almost 9 years now...we lived with my parents for a few months while our last house was been built, and got to live near them there for 5 years of our marriage. My kids are very tied to my parents home's been the one lasting home they've known, since we've moved so much. There's something comforting about going home to a house that has stayed pretty much the same for almost 50 years.

We've moved 8 times since we've been married. It's never easy. You get tied to your friends, your home, and your memories there. I still have a hard time driving by any of our old homes...especially if they've changed something, or G*d help them, haven't kept it up (the gardener/home-improvement-amateur in me goes ballistic). I don't know what I expect…that it would suddenly get declared a 'National Monument' or a 'Historic Home' where no one could change a thing? I'm expecting a shrine to our happy lives there and instead I always see someone else's home and it makes me sad. I just avoid the 'drive by' anymore.

You've all seen pics of my home and my 'decorating' style with all our antiques and collections (my friends say I collect rust). Let's just say it's the opposite of Minimalist. Well take that times 5 and that's my parents house. They both gave me the antique and collecting gene and every nook and cranny is filled with collections in their house. So many things that have memories and sentiments tied to them.

Three of my siblings all live in the same town as my parents, so there will be lots of helping hands to get it ready. I was supposed to spend all next week there working with my fourth sibling/oldest sister who is driving in from Chicago (she's a teacher and it's her Spring Break). Well, my gallbladder put a wrench in those plans. The plan now is that I'll go tomorrow so I can be there to meet with the three Realtors were interviewing. We need a third party to make suggestions about how to pare down the furniture and's easier to take from someone not related (trust me, I always want to think that everyone will appreciate my decorating style, but I've learned that in selling less is more and bland is best). After that we'll get busy ripping out the carpeting and cleaning up the hardwood floors throughout the house (they're already convinced on that one). I'm planning to come home Sunday for the surgery Monday and then go back over if I'm feeling up to it some time next week (I'll have DD drive me).

I'm taking my camera so I can get some pics, but things have already changed...the wallpaper is old twin bed has already been taken out of the room I shared with my oldest sister for staging and things are being packed up as I type. Some changes are just hard. We're the sappiest, most sentimental, cry baby family you'll ever meet...we can get each other laughing or blubbering like fools at the drop of a hat. It's going to be rough...bring on the kleenex!

*Portion of Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

I don't know if I'll be back on here as they don't have wireless, but I'll do what I can. I'm off to pack!

Now get yourselves over to Rebekah's blog and yell at her to get to the PCP as her BP today was lower than mine!!


Drazil said...

Aw, I kind of know how you feel. My parents house that flooded and was condemned because of it in one day's time was theirs for 26 sad but the memories remain. Nothing can take that away.

Alexis said...

My husband's family just went through this a few months ago. His grandparents sold their home that they had lived in for 46 years and moved into a retirement community (condo) on a lake nearby. They were really excited to start that part of their life as the house was just getting to be too much for them, but it was hard on everyone else. It was the only home that their kids and grandkids had truly known them with. Jeff had spent every Christmas for the last 29 years there and this past one was the last :(

It's tough, but somehow knowing that your parents are happy about their decision makes it a bit better.

Also, I kid you not, your parents house looks almost EXACTLY like Jeff's grandparents did. White house, dark trim, it was even the same style with the garage to the right(or left however you look at it). :)

Enjoy the last few moments you do have in the house and know that another family is going to make some great memories there soon.

Linda said...

That is tough when my parents sold the house I grew up in North Carolina to move back to their home in Iowa it broke my heart. I haven't seen it since, we're going down to NC in a few months and I was thinking of driving by.
It is good that your parents are doing this of their own choice.

Sandy Lee said...

Hope you have a good time with all the memories. It is so much better than waiting for something to happen.

You give me hope that my BP will drop and I can get off the drugs. What nice numbers. I'm still smiling about the whozeewhatsit. I'm glad you're ok. And I did see Rebekah's low numbers. Better pack the salt shaker.

LDswims said...

My mom sold her house (my childhood home) after she was told her cancer was terminal. So within two months I lost the childhood home AND then my mom. Sure wasn't easy to lose the house, it actually came to represent so much about the whole situation - losing one of my greatest comforts and something tied to so many great memories.

You will get to create new memories and make a mark on where they are going, too. You know the good ol' saying, home really is where the heart is. And where ever my mom and my family were/are, that's where I'm happiest. Sappy...but there ya go...I'm right there with ya on the emotions. :)

Glad you talked to them today about the BP and I will be curious to hear what your PCP says. My grandmother had incredibly low BP, too, and there wasn't anything to do but take it easy when she got up. SO TAKE IT EASY! :)

Anonymous said...

OMG I have tears in my eyes from all of you. I am getting a box of tissues and a good book and going to bed. I cry at Bloggs!!!!! Sniffle Sniffle. I just want everything to turn out well for everyone. Best wishes imaluckydog

Kristin said...

It's good that your whole family will be together for this process. Being together will be great, I hope it all goes well!

THE DASH! said...

I get how you feel. But its nice that you have the family around to help with the move. You're parents sound they're ready too. But its funny how emotional we can become with the houses we grow up in.

Judi said...

Well, you and I must be twins separated at birth! LOL! I have to see your decorating style pix!!! I am also the exact opposite of a MINIMALIST!!! I love old things and objects with personality. I drag all kinds of things home!! I was not always this least with the old stuff! In the first 20 years of my marriage--I wanted everything new and shiney. So, we lived in a new home, we had the most up-to-date decorating style...lots of brass and chrome and peach colors (80's!!). Then, my uncle who lived in Shadyside was selling his big home and asked me if I wanted his dining room set. My whole family thought I went nuts when I said yes (I actually thought I was nuts). After that, my love affair with antiques and shabby chic and redoing furniture and garage sales and second hand shops started! Moved into a big old house with all the charm and personality I tried to escape in the 80's and 90's!!! Love it!
Funny thing....we are moving my dad (89) out of his Assisted Living this weekend in with my sister. We are still trying to sell his condo. Like you, I wanted my father to sell his condo years ago and move into an independent living place--I told him "I don't want to carry you out of here". Well, we ended up carrying him out of there! He went to assisted living (in May)....but, the $$ is slowly running out so now we have him going to my sister's and we have caregivers and my 2 sisters and I taking over his care. OH MY!
Even though houses don't make homes, they still mean alot...
All the best!

Dinnerland said...

I am the opposite of sentimental and am always throwing stuff away. Most people think I'm an alien as a result- but I feel for you that this is a rough move for your entire family... it is representative of changes in life and ages and that can be hard.

Gen said...

BG wishing you tons of strength for this move. It sounds so hard. I am 43 and STILL miss my grandparents' house, it was just a huge part of my growing up memories.

On driving - I don't know. It depends on how well you do without pain meds. If you can survive without them for a day, then you should be able to drive. It is very similar to the band in terms of surgery, and since you are only getting one incision it will be even better. One big difference for me was no gas pains at all. The surgeon said they fill the abdominal cavity with saline so there is no room for the gas...which explains why I felt like a whale when I got home!

Good luck with the surgery. It sucks the first week but gets better pretty quickly. And I have had no problems whatsoever since my surgery (about 6 weeks ago now).

amandakiska said...

I'm glad your physical was normal. How bittersweet to be selling the family home after all this time. You know, you will uncover so many memories as you pack and sort through things. My grandparents home has just been sold and we are doing the same thing there. They owned it for about the same amount of time.

Girl Bandit said...

I am glad your parents move is a good one but sorry for you lovely to have been in the same house for so long. We moved around alot as children so I never had that attachment to a home. I hope you all survive the changes. Glad all was ok at the Dr's

Dirttrackdiva said...

i went through this when my family moved to missouri from wyoming. i'd lived there all my life and left when i was 15. sweet 16 birthday party with your folks anyone? lol i'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. i know it's hard to leave everything you've ever know.
remember though. change is good.

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