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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

1/6/10 Hysterical




I just had to share…I’m an idiot…OK, you knew that. For those that read yesterday’s blog, a quick update. I was trying on some pants and decided to see how my new body shaper worked under my new too snug size 12 pants (see pics, helps the muffin-top, but I can't tell the difference on the thighs...sigh). So I’m doing my aerobics and working up my usual sweat getting the shaper on…a tug here, a jump there…my crotch is still hanging low, so I go to tug it up…

GUESS WHAT?!!! My finger happens to find a hole in the freakin’ crotch!!! I’m serious!!! I’m still in hysterics laughing. OK, I’m not sure how you would manage this hole in the bathroom, or whether they intended it for that use. I looked online, as their tags on it don’t mention this, but online it says a ‘split crotch’…no details on it‘s purpose (I‘m sure they‘re not going to make any promises on use for liability/embarrassment reasons). OK, it’s really not a hole as much as it is two pieces of overlapping fabric…and they overlap more than 2”…you know me, I’m a tester…

Yes, I did…well….not really. I got so far as to take off my panties (which raises the question…are you still supposed to wear your panties under these contraptions?) and put the d*rn shaper back on and I sat on the pot. I could use my fingers to get the hole to be pretty big, but not big enough for me to even…ehemmm…risk trying.

*Warning TMI (OK, I‘m a little late with that one, sorry)* I’m a ‘dribbler’…after that bladder sling surgery it takes me FOREVER to pee…and after I started the Vesicare pills it now takes an act of God, some serious meditation and prayer, and at least 10 min. So not only would I have to start doing aerobic workouts with my fingers daily to work up to the point where I could sit there for 15 minutes holding this open with them, but I’d have to pee so badly that I’d have a ‘normal stream’.

So here’s what I need for my ‘study’….I need a 20 year old, who hasn’t had any children to give this a try and report back to us (I‘m sure I would have figured out a way to do this when I was in my 20‘s…and out to the bars drinking). In fact I’m sure one of you reading my blog had done this, but prefers to remain anonymous…feel free to PM me and share your experience/technique (I can then post for you anonymously).

You know me though…if it’s stupid, I’ll be doing it at least once…let‘s just hope it‘s not like my ‘Horrific PB Event‘ when I‘m out to dinner (and decided I could PB between my legs while sitting on the pot)…I know, you‘re all placing your big money bets now…especially after you have that ’Ah-Ha’ moment when you remember I said ’I’m only going to wear the shaper for special events.’

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*In response to Comments:

-LOL, yeah ym, it would be really good for men's use (and thank you Tx for 'fessing up for my scientific 'study'). The shaper comes all the way up to the bra line so that's why I said I was hoping for more 'boob-top' as a muffin-top isn't possible with it on (pic 2). The jeans are already uncomfortably snug (as is indicated by my muffin top (pic 1) and stretch wrinkles...that are sadly not premade 'age lines' that we pay more for on our jeans), but with the shaper on I felt the tightness of the shaper more than the tight spots (waist mainly) on the jeans. I don't think I'm ever going to be a daily shaper wearer, but I've learned never to say never...I can't wait to see how it 'goes' on my first outing.

-'Shaper Monologues'...ROTFLMAO

Yeah L- I'm all about comfort now...and xavier; I remember laying on the floor in college so my roommate could help me zip up my tiny skin tight (shaper) jeans.

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