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I'm on a new journey to pay-it-forward & with the support of my Groupies/friends...

I'm writing a LAP BAND BOOK!!!


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

4/7/10 The Black Hole

OK, after grossing you all out (sorry about the Sunkist Amy, really I am...I know how much you enjoy them) and freaking out about what everyone said about their gauze experiences, I decided to 'take matters into my own hands' (6 words that get every Dr. grimacing...I'm a Dr's. worst nightmare). I got out my surgical tools and with a shout of 'I'm comin' in!' and after an hour of yanking and cutting (the gauze, not me...*sigh* I should have married a Dr.) I finally got all the gauze that isn't permanently attached, detached...with only a few drops of blood. The steri strips are still there...as well as a few other (as Camille said) 'gnarly' things that trust me, no one wants to see (your eyes would fall out and then we'd just have chasms everywhere). I have decided to rename this body part the 'Black Hole'...'Belly Button' just isn't fitting anymore. The chasm is deep and wide...it ain't pretty. Let me show you...

Oh, there's that last Easter egg we couldn't find!

No I am not laying down for this pic...I'm standing upright...and the egg does not stick out past the hole at all...and trust me, the egg is NOT in as far as it can go at all...It's a Black Hole, that's why! If I put it all the way in I may never get it out again! (Dr's worst nightmare, remember)...well that and it's too sore for me to push it in. In fact, let me show you that it doesn't stick out.


Ain't nothing cute about this swollen belly Draz. I'm going to need a mighty big diamond to fill this hole (thank you Lori for the suggestion...diamond is the gemstone for April birthdays after all)...I think I'll give the egg to DH to take to the jeweler for sizing...naw, the smartazz knows I'm the Holiday Queen (although Judi is giving me a run for my money) and will just go buy some more 'holiday decorations' for every holiday to decorate my Black Hole.

*sigh* I DO have all the weirdest things happen to me!

*Portion of Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

**Update**
As if this day couldn't get any better than getting the gauze out of the black hole...my GF dropped in and look what she brought me (just guess which one is for the kids...I'm still deciding too). She was in Virginia when I had my GB surgery and I think I mentioned hers just came out and I was doing sleepovers with her kids...whe was in the hospital all week for hers (see, things can always be worse!). Oh and she brought me a whole bag of her too big pants to boot YAY!

14 comments:

LDswims said...

You don't have a black hole. :) You have a black chasm. I love chasm. Whatever it is, it's a chasm! lol

I think when it's all healed and swelling is gone you will have a very unique LITTLE chasm. Something to make everyone else jealous because who else could fit a 5kt diamond in their belly? Now I just hope your DH doesn't sh!t bricks when he sees the bill for that 5kt chasm filler. :)

Too funny...

amandakiska said...

I cannot believe that you are standing up in that pic! OMG! That is crazy. Maybe the surgeon thought when you asked for an innie, that you wanted some sort of crazy super-innie - like to win contests or something. Ya know, how much beer can your belly button hold and that sort of thing.

tessierose said...

You are so funny! I think you could just adorn said hole with a different foil covered candy for each season. You might start a trend.

Nicole said...

This post is hilarious! And that edible arrangement will be perfect if it was dipped in chochlate

Gen said...

It will get better! My belly button incision was the worst with the GB - still not looking great, but at first I thought my BB was ruined for life. Its getting more normal.

I had the fishing line too! I took matters into my own hands and ripped those suckers out after the appropriate amount of healing time.

Did you see Robin from Robin's Band Theory had a bad gallbladder attack last night? Poor thing. We are cursed with this GB issue - or I guess we WERE cursed....

Trixie said...

I can't believe that nobody's mentioned this yet: ) BUT you've just about cured all addictions to little chocolate Easter Eggs.

Jess said...

Wow! What in the H is a chasm? Google here I come! haha oh and BTW I hope things improve for you, but for what it's worth I think your tummy looks fine. Of course the shiny foil of the egg candy hypnotized me but still! :)

Drazil said...

I'm sorry - did you want me to look at something? All I saw was...
A
chocolate
egg.

I'll be right over to fix your situation - you need to get that egg out of there and all will be well.

Jenny said...

Oh, my goodness. Thats really all I can say. :)

Bandita Senorita said...

Yum--not the guaze--the fruit!!!!

Ali said...

Wow.

The fruit looks awesome! I've seen ads for those arrangements and always wondered if they were any good.

You crack me up. :-)

THE DASH! said...

lol I was just thinking .. ahh thats where the last easter egg went and lo and behold.. you said it too! Nifty.
Swelling = chasm. No swelling = neat little belly button. Give it time :)

Marie said...

I am amazed at how many people have had their gall bladders removed on these blogs! I know that is a problem but can't the surgeons see the gall bladder when they do the lap band surgery and see if they are in trouble? Maybe wishful thinking huh?

Michelle said...

Crazy stuff girl... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me not get gallstones.. Scary stuff...

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