To: Our LB Bandiversary Party Attendees
From: Fluffy and Phil (LB & Port)
Phil here...Thank you for attending our Bandiversary Party! Fluff and I have had a great first year together! I'll apologize now for arriving at the party kicking and screaming (so embarrassing). I need to tell you that four times this year Fluffy told me she was taking me out and we were 'going to do some shots' (always a good time with Fluff as she gets tight and I get lucky)...and I got really angry when she got all puffed up laughing at me each time when I ended up at the hospital stabbed instead. So sorry for the embarrassing arrival...and thanks (more than you know) for the Jell-O shots at the party. BTW in case you haven't seen her lately, Fluffy has been putting on weight all year (but don't tell her I was the one who told you)...it's OK, I like her curves (although I think there's some silicone or saline involved in some of those curves, if you get my drift). I hear there was a rumor going around at the party that Fluffy is thinking about replacing me in her life and I'm flipping out...totally deflated...I hope there will be a year-two Bandiversary party...
Hey GF's (Fluffy here). Thanks so much...the party was a blast and thanks for all the diamonds, jewels, and rocker clothing (I'll be wearing them when we go on tour this summer). Phil is an idiot...does he not know I can read?...and how many times are you going to fall for the 'Doing Shots' routine Phil?! Did you girls SEE Phil at the party...no, I mean after he stopped blubbering like a school girl and realized we really WERE at a party and WERE 'going to do shots'...was he 'happy to see you' wild girls or what (talk about ME 'puffing up this year' Phil!). I HAVE been thinking about replacing you Phil, but then I got a little tight with all the Jell-O shots at the party and slipped up, and well...you rock my band Phil (size, sometimes matters...no low-profile for me...and we have a great connection). See you next year all!