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I'm writing a LAP BAND BOOK!!!


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

3/31/09 UPDATES: Track, Pipes, LB

OK, some updates for anyone who cares…

TRACK: From my whinefest yesterday: Just as I was pulling on my long-johns yesterday for the 4 hour freezefest I got a call from DS2 saying it was cancelled as the other track team felt it was too cold (OK, someone agreed with me). Apparently it was NOT too cold for our team. Our coaches made the kids practice outside for 2 hours anyway and then they scheduled an impromptu away meet today. OK, I had already rescheduled Monday’s guitar lesson to Tuesday (and paid for it)…you know, from the day OF the meet to the day of NO meet. He’s not going to the meet (and he’s fine with it…half the kids won’t be there as they have a chorus event)…apparently I wasn’t done whining yet.

PIPES: Cover your ears NOW if you don’t want to hear about my pipes/dia-pee issues. I’m living on the edge over here. I ‘borrowed’ some of DD’s thin little girlie almost-thong-sized mini-pads. I feel like a man who’s been surgically castrated…there’s something missing between my legs. I’m thinking my new trial pack of drugs might be working pretty well. If this keeps up I’m going back downtown to my dealer for a refill. These pads are so thin you can see through them, but I’m a risk taker (and I have nowhere to go today…oh yeah, the guitar lesson). I’ve just started measuring my water intake and pushing fluids for post-op (I’m the queen of good timing). We may have a repeat of the ‘big flood’ of ’05. That’s when I had to call (from the bathroom) for DS2 (he was the only one home) to run and bring me some towels and a pad…that’s when I scheduled my bladder surgery and took out stock in Poise…and when DS2 dubbed pads ‘dia-pees’. Yes, I continue to scar my kids for life…and what was I saying yesterday about parents embarrassing their teens? Actually we were both laughing hysterically at the time, and every once in awhile he still loves to tease me about it and laughingly whisper to me that he’s going to tell everyone (so don’t tell him I’ve already told the world…shh, it’s our little secret). That’s when I pull out my tube top threat or bribe him with treats…we have a wonderful relationship…it’s all based on secrets, threats and bribery…I’m a good mom that way. So far, so good,

LAP-BAND: I still can’t get the ‘Insurance Specialist’ at my surgeon’s office to call me back. Love the woman when I talk to her, but if she's that busy (which I'm guessing is true) they need to get her an assistant. I started calling her last Monday (8 days ago) and every day since then. I left a fourth message on her voicemail today asking for a 5 min. meeting with her on Wednesday morning so I can bring my last papers in and GET A TENTATIVE DATE (and I told her I was going to call the surgeon’s Admin. Asst., Susan). I just called Susan and nicely asked if Patti’s been out…nope, so I told her my issues and asked if I could just come down tomorrow, nope, no welcome-mat, I have to talk to the ins. gal. OK, HOW can I do that? She apologized and took a message for me. I’ve now risked pissing off the ONLY person who can help me get approved or not, which I certainly didn’t want to do, but that shows you how much pressure I’m getting to set a date (I'm sure my ears will be burning/ringing soon). I think the world will probably implode if I don’t get this done on Wednesday…so if you hear the BIG BANG, run for cover. Here comes the ‘yadda-yadda-yadda’ *just keep saying this in your mind as you scan the rest of this as quickly as possible until you get to WHEW while I release a quick (well, that depends on how fast you can scan) bit of pressure off the cooker*…I’m not telling anyone but DH, so I don’t want to be on the pre-op diet and traveling to my family for Easter. I’ve been avoiding calling my Mom (who had foot surgery last week and I haven’t talked to since…it’s killing me) because she’s been bugging me to come there (Ohio) for Easter and she needs to get the house ready, Easter baskets ready (yes, I always tell her I’ll do them, she won’t have that) and did I mention she just had surgery? DD calls me daily to see if we’re going for Easter because she wants to bring the BF and he needs to plan and she needs to ask off work and talk to his Mom about leaving…I’m all out of excuses. DH is getting big pressure from work (in the throes of layoffs there) to schedule several more work trips in April (he just called me a min. ago to ask AGAIN "Do you think you'll get a date tomorrow?", and DS1 still hasn’t taken Easter weekend off work yet, so who knows if he’ll be able to at this point. We’ve also got several kid doctors’ appts. scheduled that Friday that will need to be rescheduled, but within a few days as they’re time sensitive visits…the closer we get the less likely I’ll be able to do this. I’m being pressured from EVERYONE! *WHEW* So, I’ll either be back here ranting or doing the happy dance tomorrow…coin toss now! I’m really not impatient to get surgery ASAP...I really don't care if it's in May at this point; I just need to know WHEN it might be!

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