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Monday, March 30, 2009

3/30/09 Out Like A Lion

OK, I realize it’s not quite the end of March but come on!!! Snow??!!! I’m in Pittsburgh, not flippin’ Fargo!!! (Ooops, sorry Fargo, I just heard on the news you’re having flooding, best wishes to Fargo). There’s snow flurries coming down and the wind is howling so fast that the wind chill is Frickincoldashell. I’m officially on strike until Spring shows up…I’m hibernating inside until it gets warmer…I’m so DONE with you Winter! Winter has forced me into being a bad mother. Let me preface this by saying we’re good parents, we go to everything the kids want us to. I was even Homeroom Mom (and full-time bulletin board/teacher’s helper) every year for all three of my kids until it ended at Middle School. Hey I was an Art Teacher and we did awesome fun stuff…the teachers were fighting over getting my kids into their class the next year…my kids were proud…until they became teens, at which point parents are embarrassing. We even go to most of the things the kids don’t want us to…that’s when we get.. ‘But nobody else’s parents are coming!’…OK, I listened when it came to the Middle School Dance chaperones…I let some other mom (who wants to be ‘friends’ with her teen) embarrass their teen (bet she hit the dance floor!). My standard response now when they say I’ve embarrassed them over something little is ‘Embarrassed?!! You’d better watch it or I’m going to show up at one of your dances in my sequin tube top!' (got that one from my teacher sis) that always gets them. There’s a point in High School though where you become less embarrassing again, either that or they learn to tolerate the embarrassment…DS1, age 18, now doesn’t whine when I chat with his friends as long as I don’t hang out long, don’t show naked baby photos, and I’m feeding them well as they’re over playing poker, Guitar Hero, or video games…they actually started playing the board game Risk lately (how old school!).

DS2 has another (weekly) Track Meet tonight and I asked him if he cared if I just came to pick him up at the end…he grumbled OK, but I think he cared. I really think he was picturing that he might be the last kid picked up…no kid likes that, I was one of 5 kids with a busy Mom, so I remember the feeling and I try really hard to avoid that. The problem is it’s hard to predict when athletic events like this are going to end…I might as well be predicting the stock market…yes, I loaned him my cell phone, but will he call me in time to get there (the school is a ½ hour away)….no chance! There’s always ‘We can’t take a phone on the field so it was up in the bleachers and the coach wanted me to stay down there between events to warm up, so I couldn’t call you, but WHY were you late?!!!” Who does he think I am, Carmac the Magician?

I don’t think he’s ever been the last kid picked up. And doesn’t he remember that I’m the same Mom who got one of two speeding tickets in my life because both boys were playing soccer games in two different locations and his soccer game ran overtime? Heck, he was in the car as the lights were flashing behind us and I didn’t pull right over, but made the police car follow me the extra thousand feet into the park where I pulled up right in front of the coach and DS1’s soccer team…TEAM you hear me?!...I was still one of the first Mom’s there! OK, so it turned out to be the school DARE officer (nice lady who wrote down less mph than I really was going, thank you) so all the kids knew her and DS1 will never let me forget how badly I embarrassed him…but if you’re a Mom who’s ever been late and you get that panicked/heart in your throat feeling as you’re driving and don't know if your kid is safe, then you know what I mean (you younger moms probably buy your tots cell phones so you’ll never have this problem). Now I wonder why teens say parents are embarrassing?

Why is it that teens sometimes don’t want you to show up at anything, sometimes want you not even to exist if they're with friends? I swear there’s moments they’d like me to be invisible when I’m driving them and their friends places….and God help me if I talk too much in the car to their friends…I’ll hear about it later!...Mom! Why do you always have to laugh and talk to my friends so much?!...and yet if it involves sitting in the cold to watch them run for 1, 2, and 5 min. (events) out of a THREE-FOUR HOUR Track Meet, yes, then they want you there. I may go to the last hour since two of his events (they can only be in three) are always at the end…I’ll see how cold it is then. I’m a bad Mother, I know! Sitting in those elevated bleachers so the wind smacks you in the face as it whips across the field while your fat butt, that you thought was oh-so-very-insulated goes numb from sitting on those cold metal benches, for any longer than I have to does not sound fun today. And hey, I may be going to my pre-op class this week (toes crossed) and these weak asthmatic lungs don’t need bronchitis or pneumonia for the seventh time right before surgery…….you’re not buying my plea for sympathy are you? But it’s SO COLD! I'm sounding like a whining teen aren't I? Nuff said.

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