2/12/09 Writer's Muse

I’m back from my Physical Therapy. I was still so sore from my little ‘incident’ last night that I walked into PT and asked if I could start with the heat and electrical stimulation. I gave my PT a wink as she was working on someone and told her I had a little problem with my neck/shoulder and that I’d tell her later. Got off the heat and after an arm warm up she said she wanted to start (instead of end) with the massage/stretching she does.

She comes running over when I’m back on the table and whispers like a school girl “So what happened?” (must have been something in my face)…I started whispering my sports bra injury story and she was hysterical with laughter. Now, you have to get that all the massage tables are right next to each other along one wall…I certainly don’t mind sharing…not much embarrasses me (yes, you knew that), but I didn’t want to embarrass the dozen or so guys around me…TMI and all that. Well, we were laughing so hard everyone was staring as I whispered my way through the horror of the dressing room.

When I was done I asked “So what’s the weirdest thing someone was injured doing that came to you for PT?” I’m thinking there’s got to be some pretty crazy stuff…I’ve got doctors and nurses for family and friends and they’ve always got the wildest stories about patients, I thought they HAD to see some pretty whacky stuff in PT too, right? Apparently not…or some patients are lying (you know who you are...fess up!). She said “Oh, I could probably write a book, but your sports bra injury would be on page 1- Chapter One!” The guys next to us heard the first part about writing the book and another PT asked “Writing a book on what?” She says “Strange ways people injure themselves.” Here it comes… “Like what?” I turn to him (now the whole area is listening) and (I figure it’s all over at this point anyway) with a really load whisper “Sports Bra Injury!” All the men look confused, but the few women there all start nodding their heads and I get immediate feedback all at once from the gals “Oh, yea!” “ I’ve had that happen!” “Those things are terrible to get off!” “I’ve always wondered why they don’t put hooks on those too!” “Oh, I have to buy them 2 sizes larger just to get them off!” I’m thinking…OK, if this is so common, why didn’t someone warn me ahead of time. Where were you gals when I was walking into the dressing room with two smaller sizes? The guys at this point are all laughing hysterically. Then the women go for after the guys “Yea, you wouldn’t understand!” “You should just try getting one of those things off!” “Yea, buy one for your wife for Valentine’s Day and see how easy it is for her to take it off!” “Better yet, you should try one of hers on and see how hard it is!” At this point I’m picturing that tightly twisted rubber band bra and men’s chest hair…probably the ONLY thing that could make that more painful.

I’m being really careful the next few weeks….don’t want to be Chapter Two.