2/5/09 Dear Abby's Daughter

Dear Abby,

I used to read your article as a teen, but you've dissapointed me with this one...this is just so, so wrong. -BG

P.S. I feel a little better now that I figured out that it was actually your daughter who wrote this answer. Tell her she needs to be a better listener...Mini-Me told you she'd preferred not to tell; she did not say she felt ashamed or guilty; and have you seen the size of appetizers lately (OK, maybe this one would help), but if you look for the real question it's there...If I don't want to share everything, what do I SAY that will put others at ease?

DEAR ABBY


Advice
Feb. 5, 2009


DEAR ABBY: I am an obese woman who had the LAP-BAND® procedure done three months ago. I am now able to eat only three or four ounces of food at a time, and I am starting to show some major weight loss.

What do I say to people with whom I go out to eat when they think I am being finicky or snobbish for not eating my entire meal? I have gotten some pretty weird stares, and one of my co-workers believes I have an eating disorder.

Abby, I would prefer not to come out and say that I have had weight-loss surgery, but I don't want people worried about me either. Any suggestions? -- MINI-ME IN TEXAS

DEAR MINI-YOU: So many people in this country have serious weight problems, I see no reason why you shouldn't be frank about what you decided to do about yours. It's not shameful, and it should not be a guilty secret. People who know you well will find out eventually.

However, if you are determined not to reveal that you had the surgery, when you eat out in restaurants, order only an appetizer. That way less food will remain on your plate.

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In response to Comments suggesting other snarky answers:

Now there's a list! ...and I was just thinking she could say 'I'm eating half as much so I can be half as big.' Or 'My doctor has me on a special diet.' (all true) Eating like this won't be any whackier than what I've done on other crazy diets (would they even blink an eye if she ordered only grapefruit every time?)? I'm thinking my REAL friends will be glad for me that I'm eating less and losing weight...and who cares about the others! And if I don't want the appetizer, I'll order what I want, thank you. -BG