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I'm writing a LAP BAND BOOK!!!


Friday, December 5, 2008

12/5/08 Urodynamics

Sounds like a new exercise program…or maybe a high-tech company name?…Oh NO….look closer…Uro…nope, not the currency in Europe…uro as in Urologist! Taking my cue from a fellow blogger (‘cause I can’t just write this out, it will sound too horrific)…Sing it with me, to the tune of “Jingle Bells”…

Went to the Urologist
Wires out the gazoo
Catheter up the front
And up the rear-end too!

They fill up your big bladder
You feel like you’re gonna blow
They ask you to cough, and then they say “Tell me when you’ve got to go.”

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right NOW!
Im’ gonna pee on your floor and then you’ll need a towel! Oww!
Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right NOW!
Im’ gonna pee on your floor and then you’ll need a towel!

Yeah… “Oh what fun” (not) I had this morning…Three years ago, after putting up with stress incontinence for years (three kids did me in) I had surgery (only one I’ve ever had) with both a bladder sling and a hysterectomy in hopes of correcting this issue. Although initial results were good, it slowly failed and over the next year I was back to where I started. Well, it’s taken me awhile to go back to my Dr., but in this year of “getting me healthier” I decided to see what they could do. I met with my Urologist last month…if you remember my “I peed my pants” blog…he said “You’re the first patient I’ve had where this failed…you’ll have to leave by the back door so you don’t scare my other patient!” Ha-ha…I would have laughed, but then I might PEE MYSELF! Now don’t I feel special! So today I started the testing process again…not much embarrasses me (I know, obviously) but “Urodynamics” testing is a treat…I think you’ve got the picture from my song, but picture standing on a towel and holding a million tubes and wires (coming from all points nether-regions) throughout the testing…cough…bear down…’nuff said. Next week I get to go through the “scoping” process again…yay me…photos! I’ve had some other issues over the past few years with other failed treatments and I know that’s got me more nervous about the Lap Band process…I’m feeling a little jinxed…like if something can go wrong or fail, it’s going to happen to me! But I’m an eternal optimist (as DH says) and my cup is always half-full (or in the case of this morning 1.7 liters…yes, they measure...eeeww)…so here’s to the LB! Bring it on the testing!

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In response to a comment stating that WL helps incontinence:

Hadn't heard that-82%...wow! I asked my Urologist if this could be part of the cause of my "fail" and he said "no way...they sometimes see that with extremely obese people, but that wouldn't effect me". I "only" have max 100# to lose...Good to hear the Lap Band may help this also!

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