12/2/08 Consult Scheduled!

OK, since my seminar I’ve been putting off calling to schedule my consult with the surgeon. I found it interesting that my Hospital leaves it in your hands to call them to schedule if you are interested and you can see the surgeon as soon as you want to. The other two hospitals I went to say they’ll call you to let you know if you are “accepted” into the program or not, and you can’t consult with the surgeon until a certain point in their programs. So I could see the surgeon right away…nice, right? So why was I putting it off? I think I felt like I wouldn’t get many of these visits unless there was a reason for more (maybe just one, not sure), so I wanted to have all my questions in line (I’m anal about researching things). I kept saying “I’ll call tomorrow”.

As we are literally walking out the door to leave for Philly for the Thanksgiving holiday the phone rings. My DH says (trying to mumble) “It’s the hospital, for you.” Mind you, I’ve decided not to tell anyone but DH and here were my 3 children standing in the kitchen, ready to get in the car. I think my oldest, DD home from college, may now suspect something since I left info. up on my computer and she used it to check her emails (and I over reacted when I saw her on it). I don’t really mind that she knows, I just don’t want her to be disappointed in me if I don’t succeed. So I turn bright red in front of the kids and grab the phone. “You attended our seminar about a month ago and we were wondering if you were interested in setting up a consult appointment with the surgeon?” Now I’m grabbing my calendar and running to the other room. He had an opening Dec. 23, which at first pass sounded awful because I know I’ll be busy with Christmas prep, but after a second I realized it’s also a day DH is off so he can go with me. If he’s my only support then I guess it’s good he knows what to expect after. Plus he was traveling and didn’t make that seminar, so it will be a chance for him to meet the Dr. So…Consult scheduled…now back to my list of questions for the surgeon (why am I so nervous about this?)!

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In response to a comment about my being nervous:
You're right...I think it's similar to that "head hunger" everyone talks about...I'm finding there's so much "head" stuff I need to change my thoughts about...putting myself first, learning how hard this will be, coming to grips with it being forever...(I could never stay on all my other diets forever, even after I lost big amounts), but starting to believe I can do this...you're right...whole nother ballgame!