10/27/09 Goal Limbo

I'm coining a new phrase here on LBT. Because I'm going to need it. Soon. How many threads, posts, and blogs have you seen here about LB'ers who are getting close to goal (usually starting about 30 lbs. out from goal, depending on their BMI) and are facing a whole new set of challenges. Their BMI is lower, as is their weight. Although they're at their Sweet Spot the amount of food they can eat and still lose weight is no longer working for them. The same goes for exercise. Yeah, they've hit plateaus before, but that doesn't even come close to this…it's much worse…the weight loss stalls and slows down to a painful crawl…a death march even.

I'm paying more attention to all those '30 and Goal' posts (sounds like a football commentary, doesn't it?). They feel guilty for complaining or even asking for support here…How can they not feel guilty for even seeking support when they've lost a ton of weight and are now in clothes sizes they haven't seen in years…for some, since grade school? How can they justify needing support when others are struggling just to start losing their weight? After all, they're so close to goal…and look at all the newbies here just starting their 6 mo. diet…or those that are now in 'Bandster Hell' and are just trying so hard to maintain and wait for those fills. What right do they have to complain? They'd look like FOOLS for complaining! They've lost a ton of weight…they're almost at goal…they look better…they feel better…they are so happy with their weight loss…I'm with you…WHAT THE HECK DO THEY HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT? Except…now…I'm almost there…

These Banders get that. They feel the same way…they feel happy and frustrated at the same time…they're happy with how far they've come, but they're frustrated with their slow progress getting those last 30 or so pounds off. Should they feel happy or sad? They don't even know how to feel about it…and it's not like the NSV's are still pouring in to make them feel good as they've now been this weight for awhile. Maybe they even feel a little like a failure and as though they've let others or themselves down with their slow weight loss. These Banders feel like they have to apologize for even complaining. Over and over they feel like they had to justify why they had a right to be frustrated at all.

So how do you go about explaining how horrible it feels being so close to goal and for your weight loss to stall. You lost the bulk of the weight at least somewhat steadily, but now the scale is barely moving and at this rate it might/is taking years to get to goal.


Those people generally get sympathy from others who are in the same position they are, or others that have already been through it (and we know there not as many 'old-timers' here…maybe this is why some disappear even?). Don't we all give great sympathy to those going through 'Bandster Hell'? It's because we've all been there.
I kept thinking…heck, when I was going through that period after banding and before restriction and I was feeling down and needed support all I had to say was 'I'm going through Bandster Hell' and I'd get all kinds of support…'Oh, I've been there too'… 'This is normal' … 'Don't worry it will end soon' … 'Try this…' Mention just two words 'Bandster Hell' and you need not have to explain any further…we get it…we sympathize.

Here's the thing…I've decided I'll need an acronym or at least a term for this period in my Band journey. If I can say PB, Slime, Stuck, or Bandster Hell and I don't need to explain or justify these terms and my being there, then why isn't there one for this tough, usually longest phase in the Band journey? I looked on several sites and there isn't one.

I need a term so that I can talk about this without having to give a lengthy explanation and justification each time…something like 'Bandster Hell'. I figure the best time to come up with this is even before I start into this phase. I don't need your support yet for this, because I'm not there yet, but I will be soon. I looked at words and I found one that really struck home…LIMBO, in limbo: a state of uncertainty or of being kept waiting; a state of oblivion or neglect; a condition of uneasiness or aprehension; a state or place of profound anxiety brought on by the unknown; indeterminate state; a condition of unknowable outcome. Well that works.

So I'm coining a new phrase for myself (and anyone else) here so I won't have to explain or justify why I need support. I'll soon be 30 lbs. or less from goal and I'm sure I'll need to continue getting support here. You'll read this phase name and you'll just nod your head and know exactly what I'm talking about and hopefully give me the support I'll still need (because if your not there yet, you know you soon will be). You'll understand that I have the right to be frustrated or upset because this phase of the journey brings its own set of challenges and it's own set of emotional issues. I'll need the same support you give all of us at any point in this journey. You see, I'm headed into that last phase of Weight Loss…and I may be there a LOOONG time so I'll need your patience and understanding. I'm headed into 'Goal Limbo'.