9/16/10 Letters From The Dark Side

Dear Tar-gét,

Haven't I been a loyal customer? Wasn't I the one who stood by you and noticed the small changes when all others saw you fading away like Gold Circle and K-Mart? Haven't I single-handedly kept you in business with my college kids, home redecorating, and my many, many, 10% off coupon days cartloads?

Why then, when I needed you most, was in my time of need, and even got DH to come home early to help me, did you let me down?! Didn't you hear me earlier when I said I've been through four days of hell trying to print these d*mn photos at home and now I was finally coming to you to save me?! Did you see my face when I walked in to find ALL THREE of your photo machines were OUT OF ORDER...and the entire photo shop?!

Tar-gét, I'm not sure I'll ever feel the same way about you again...your loss.

Love, Regards,
-BG

P.S. Please apologize to the Manager for me...when he came over to explain that the whole photo shop would be down for at least three days with major problems, I think we scared him a little with my 'stink eye' and DH looking at us like one of us was going to die (I wasn't really going to kill him).

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Dear Walgreens,

I hate you. What the h*ll are you doing training your employees so well! After stopping at four (more) stores we finally found a photo scanner at your store with a cheerful employee ready to help me.

That is, until he saw that I was scanning professionally done photos at which point he spewed out the entire employee handbook on photo copyright laws. Apparently even though the 25 photos that I wanted to scan and change to black and white were taken 10-20 or more years ago I have to go back to every photographer and ask for written permission to scan them...unless the photographer is dead...and he could give me the copyright law sheet that covers how many years they must be dead and how to get permission...blah, blah, blah.

Um...25 photos...each with my screaming babies taken in the back of some drugstore or dept. store that's now been out of business for 20 years?! I'm not sorry for what I said to your well trained employee...actually, I was way too nice...and I'll let you know where you can put that flier on photo copyright laws.

I hate you,
-BG

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Dear Technology,

This is to notify you that I'm officially filing for divorce...irreconcilable differences.

-BG

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DH,

I'm sorry I made you go buy photo paper and ink cartridges this weekend and then after screaming at you and the computer for 4 days (and making your life a living hell), I gave up and made you return them.

I'm sorry I almost gave you a heart attack driving around to stores tonight like a crazy woman on a death mission...oh, and for scarring you looking like a potential terrorist when the employees tried to 'help' me.

BTW the ball is in your court to hook up the other scanner upstairs, download new drivers and photo programs, scan and print...good luck. Sorry I can't help, my divorce from technology will be final soon. Oh, and you'll need to go and re-buy that photo paper and the ink cartridges...yes, again.

Love,
-BG

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Dear Box-O-Wine,

I love you.

-BG