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I'm on a new journey to pay-it-forward & with the support of my Groupies/friends...

I'm writing a LAP BAND BOOK!!!


Thursday, February 16, 2012

2/16/12 Button, Button, Who's Got The Button?

I DO!!! 
If you need a laugh (AT me) read on...

I'm getting all techie (OK more like 'keeping up with the times'). Thank you Yvonne/the other BG, and the 'other' LBG for helping me with this (one more week of this and I should be dangerous)!

I'm now blacklisted on several sites and on others the 'Help Admin' peeps know me by name...and they have their finger hovered over their 'Delete Account' button in case I ask 'even one more question'.
  • gmail: Yes, I have a GMail account I announced a few weeks ago...the first step in my insanity lapbandgroupie@gmail.com  WHY didn't you stop me then?!!!  I thought you were all my 'virtual' friends?!!
  • A drumrollllllllllllllllllllllllll please....Facebook: I am officially on Facebook (I know...I know....H*ll hath frozen over!) 
    • Apparently I need 25 'fans' before I can be official or something.  I hear that I can get rid of all the numbers in my URL them (I have no clue what it is to tell you) and pick a more 'suitable page name' (I thought I already signed up as Lap Band Groupie)?
    • Go take a gander (if you can find me) at my pretty profile composite...no, I mean it...GO!  It took me half a day to figure out where to place my face so my thumbnail didn't just come out showing only my nose and mouth.
    • OK, I'll be back when I figure out 'where you can be a fan' (and what I need to bribe you with this time...Dear Lord help me...what can I do to top unveiling my fat faces?....Naked vlog?!....yeah, I just gagged too.).
    • I have a FB Share Button (don't ask me what it's for).
    • I have a FB Like Button (don't ask me what it's for)...I DO know (unlike 'many uninformed people'...they said that, not me) they're not for the same thing though.  Oh, and I wasn't sure what URL to attach to my like button, so I put this blog...but perhaps it was supposed to be my Facebook page?  I Googled 'Facebook for Dummies' and I still didn't get a clear answer...'Enter your URL'...what the heck does THAT mean I ask you?!!  If I'm sending you in circles...it's your initiation into my dizzy blonde club.
  • Twitter: Yes, I'm now a TWIT (Ok, you knew that)! 
    • SEE...over there...yep, my first Tweet...just what you needed...more mindless thoughts...and look...it doesn't have to even be a whole thought. 
    • Just one problem...yep...you guessed it...I used every last character (140)...yeah, editing is not my forte...upside for you...Twitter has a character limit...downside...you'll be reading lots of half thoughts...that might be an upside.
    • Ummm...I instantly had 8 Twitter followers...How COOL...aren't I popular!  But what's THIS?  They're almost all p*rn stars (OK, that's being polite...'ladies of the internet')!  Block, Block, Block, Block, Block.  I was going to Twit about it, but I'm skeeeerd (you should have seen the names of their websites...not even high class gals!)!  What if using the word 'p*rn' in a tweet tags me for every 'p*rn' tweeter out there?!!  Ummm...you're telling me to look over my shoulder aren't you?.....Whew....fixed the spelling to 'p*rn...that was a close one!
  • RSS Feed: I now have one here that you can add.  I'm not promising, but I think it sends things to your (see below...).
  • Feed Reader: I am now using one myself, yes, I'm iGoogling (whatever that means).
  • Widgets:  
    • I'm now the Widget Queen and I can't wait to add a few more (and condense some of these).   Did you see that floating 'social media' tab over there to the left?  After a day of Blogfoolery, that one prompted a call to my IST Major.  But yep, I'm social now...you can invite me over. No...really.
    • Enjoy the Google+ Button (don't ask me what it's for) while it lasts.  Google+ will be here any minute to collect it.  I tried to sign up as 'Lap Band Groupie' and apparently pseudonyms are NOT allowed...unless you're 50 Cent, or Snoop Dog.  I may have been banned for life...so when you're 'circling up', or going over to 'hangout'...toast a marshmallow and put in a good word for me (and no, I don't have a problem giving YOU my real name...see 'Twitter' above).
  • Mobile Template: If you're reading on the go...I made it pretty (in pink) and easier to read.
  • Template code: 
    • Most impressively of all...you know your main blog page HTML template (or maybe, like me, you didn't know you have one)? 
      • That they tell you not too touch 'unless you're an advanced user'? 
      • That they give you a 'hundred other suggestions to do' before you touch it? 
      • That they 'strongly suggest you download the old one and save it' before you touch it? 
      • That they ask you one thousand times 'Are you sure you want to proceed, because there's no going back and we can see that you're an idiot and will blow up your whole site?' 
      • That they make you 'Pinky-swear that you won't blame them because they tried to warn you'? 
      • That they now take all your personal information to add to their 'Possible Blogger Terrorist' list in case you add a Trojan virus to Blogger and they want to sue you?
      • Yeah, that one.
    • Well, I've been looking at all these 'suggestions' that answer my many questions (you know I always have them) online.  From complete strangers...OK, they're mostly hackers...but I swear I checked them out (if they had three friends that said the code worked, then I figured they were legit, right?).
    • So, you know me, I'm a 'change agent', a 'risk taker', a 'rule breaker' (let's not go there right now...you know how many I've broken).  I rewrote some of my code...OK, so it was more like cutting and pasting in new code (DS1, my IST junior in college would still be impressed).
      • I've changed how links open in one new page. 
      • I also found a nifty 'pretty up your blog' with an enormously huge first letter...yeah that one in my first word here.  Well, I added their code and mine just came out with a plain black letter...the example they showed had colored font.  Mine was just a black font letter.  I WANT A PRETTY COLORED FONT!!!  So here's when I totally lost my mind...I found the word 'none' in the middle of all the XYZ!!!...123@@XYZ***gibberish> code...and...wait for it...*idea*...I'm feeling pretty confident that I'm an 'advanced user' now...but do I dare....OK...I changed 'none' to 'pink'...all by myself...I decided that I knew better than the Hacker and wrote my own code...yep, I'm a risk taker...it was like jumping off a bridge with only a bungee cord to save me...it was exhilarating as I pushed 'SAVE'.  OK, so it's a pink box with the still black font, but I swear I couldn't be prouder that I birthed that new baby up there!
OK, that should have been ten different posts, but my head was going to explode.  There, that was like pulling a band-aid off!

P.S.  Don't ask me how I did any of these things...I seriously don't have a clue.

2 comments:

Krisz said...

One word: WOW! :)
Ok, two: Wow Wow!

Janice said...

I'm totally impressed and 99% of everything went over my head! I miss the old days before technology. (Okay...we can keep the blogs, cell phones and Angry Birds). I think you burned 1000 calories just figuring all of those things out! Happy weekend!

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