7/29/10 Tough Love

*Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

5/18/10 That Four Letter Word...

Rain...

No, that's not the word...I'm starting with some personal updates (rain for the second day is just pissing me off), then we'll get to the LB, and that other bad word...

What's Happening:

- We finish the garage sale Saturday. We got rid of almost 1/2 the stuff and made about $100...woo. Yes, we priced things very cheap...people kept telling us they couldn't believe the deals they were getting (I just wanted it gone). I even set out three boxes of new things with the tags still on them from my 'gift closet' (LOL, things like baby clothes that were the wrong size/season, clothing for me that never fit, gifts I never gave, etc.). What's better than selling 1/2 the crap? Setting 10 boxes of leftovers at the curb and watching the Vets pick them up yesterday! The only thing that could ruin that moment? My two oldest buying four LARGE (we're talking couch and huge tables large) pieces of furniture from other's garage sales (I knew I was doomed Friday morning each time they would come back up the street in my minivan and back into the driveway). DH can no longer park his car in the garage and we're going to have to upgrade my minivan to a U-Haul to move their crap around.

- It was DS1's 20th birthday Saturday. His GF came up for the day and took him to the zoo and then we had a great dinner and family party. Can I just say that my children make me feel old...I just realized I can no longer say 'my teens' in my blog anymore as I now have 2 out of 3 kids that are 20 or older...Ahhh! How dare they grow up so fast and make me feel old...the pain of childbirth has returned to bite me in the butt!

- Sunday DH and I went to four nurseries to buy plants and bushes (all these garage sales have put me behind on my gardening). I decided we needed to redo some of the front landscaping as we lost some bushes from the waist-high snow this winter...plus some of the planting beds were getting out of control (we now have 10 tiny new bushes...and sunburns). We've never lived anywhere long enough to have to replace landscaping LOL...hard to believe we just reached 9 years here! I also have flats full of annuals waiting to be planted, but we've had two days of cold rain... d*mnit, now I have to clean my house (you can only imagine the mess after hauling all that crap out of the basement to sort)...sun tomorrow!

- Blog Comments:
---Thanks for asking, yes, my patio is still (mostly) brown and shiny (ask DD, she wiped out on the slick surface yesterday trying to run to her car in the rain). I'll try to take some pics when the sun is back out.
---Anonymous- thank you for the comment. It's comments and emails like that, that keep me moving forward on the book.

*Portion of Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

5/4/10 Pre-Op Process (Self-pay or Covered)

*Portions of Post Deleted for Lap Band Book---------------------------------------------------
The closest I come to understanding the medical system abroad is when 'someone very close to me who will remain anonymous lest her friends read this...like they'd ever want to' spent a semester abroad in France. She made a trip to the ER in the middle of the night just 10 days after her arrival to France (very bloody diarrhea)...which involved a move in
an ambulance to another hospital outside of town, a 5 day stay, a lab analysis of the bottle of Pepto Bismol (yes, I sent her there with a huge bag full of every medication possible...I'm surprised they didn't stop her at customs and do a strip search) that I insisted she take with her to the hospital (they'd never seen Pepto before). NO one at the hospital spoke more than a few words of English and she didn't speak much French at all yet (she attended an English speaking college, and part of her education was learning more conversational French there). In the few minutes a day we got to talk to her (cell phone had almost no battery left and she didn't take the charger to the ER) we received the following information (and yes, I would have flown out the first day if I'd had any clue this was going to be 5 days):

- Day 1: NO one here speaks English!...No, we all applied for our France health care cards, but we hadn't received them yet...I'm perfectly fine now...I think they'll send me home today.

- Day 2: They took my Pepto Bismol and my phone is about to die...No, I don't know what hospital I'm at, but I'll try to ask them if that's it...No, there's NO one here who speaks English that you can talk to...anyway, I think they'll send me home today.

- Day 3: OMG get me out of here! The TV costs cash money and I only had 5 Euros in my pocket when I went to the ER...I've been staring at the wall for 3 days! People stop by all day long to try out their 'English' on me; I keep thinking 'FINALLY! Someone who speaks English! But after they point and say 'American!' or 'How are you?' really slowly I learn that's all the words they know!...Yes, about as many words as I am fluent in French!...I think one of them said something about a 'test'...No, who knows if it was a Doctor or the janitor, they all wear the same thing!...I think maybe they'll send me home after the test today.

- Day 4: GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! They brought me some meat for dinner last night and I turned it over and it had TASTEBUDS ON IT...IT WAS A LITTLE TINY TONGUE!!! I'm starving!!! They stuck a camera up my bum today and the Doc spent 30 min. trying to communicate with me with no English...I don't know, I think I heard the word 'inflammation' and 'polyp'. Two of my friends from college took the train out to see me and they couldn't find out what was going on either...and they speak FRENCH!...No, no one from the college program has called or come to see me...I don't know why they're keeping me so long...I pray they send me home today!
- Day 5: I'm home. I was scared, but luckily I had just enough money to buy the train ticket back to the city. The Doctor told me I have to 'come back' for a 'Colonoscopy' I think to take out the polyp...Yes, I got a copy of the report, but I'M NEVER GOING BACK!!!!
After two different trips to two different Dentists there, with no tooth symptom relief, we all decided she needed to come home after one semester (she was supposed to be there all year). Back in the US, after lots of help from our insurance co., getting the foreign medical bills paid and then the hospital report translated, she had the colonoscopy and the polyps removed, and then had to have the tooth pulled out...she likes to show people the spot where her molar is missing and calls it her 'souvenir from her trip to France'. No, I'm not saying the medical system abroad is bad (I've been told France has a great health-care system), but from a teenagers view it was LOL! And yes, she should have been able to speak more French as it's not their problem to know English. Thank Gawd she's a very independent girl and could handle herself alone!
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10/22/09 Six Month Bandiversary!

Sorry, I can't share my 'cake'

Today is my six month Bandiversary! I can't believe it's been six months already! The six month diet pre-op seemed to take foreverrrrr (sorry newbies)...this past six months...OK, Bandster Hell was a little slow, but time just sped up after that. I wonder when I'll ever stop feeling like a newbie? I still learn something new here every week...the band journey is consistent in its inconsistency so there's always something new to learn.

OK, you can have just a bite of this one (it's SF).

Let's see, what's happened in six months with the band? I've:
- Become an April 'Bunny' (and Hef still makes us weigh in weekly)
- Had 4 fills and now have 5.9cc/10cc LB
- Had to return to the hospital the week of banding; overnight on my 50th birthday (no problems)
- Gone from a size 22/24 jean to a size 16
- Made it through Bandster Hell while starving (but still losing weight)
- Had a few gain weeks
- Lost 46 lbs. since banding (65 total)
- Had a few plateaus
- Gone from a 34.8 BMI (37.7 originally) to 27.2 and moved from an Obese to Overweight BMI
- Paid my full insurance deductible
- Moved into Onederland
- Learned how to slime and PB like a pro
- Reached weighing less than DH
- Attended the Semi-Annual SWA (Scale Whores Anonymous) meeting
- Made lots of LB friends
- Reached my Sweet Spot
- Developed Acid Reflux
- Stopped 'Dieting'

What's happened in six months in my life? I've Celebrated:
- My 50th Birthday
- Our 27th Anniversary
- Our DD's College Graduation and her first (and second) 'real' job
- Our DS1's HS Graduation and his move to college
- My father's 80th Birthday

and I've:
- Seen my DD buy her first car and get her first speeding ticket
- Visited my Alma-mater- OSU game- and watched them lose in the last minute
- Watched DS1 get on another Honor Roll and in his second expensive fender bender
- Been on vacation twice (SC and AZ)

The LB is like life...there are ups and downs, highs and lows...it's a lifestyle...and I'm loving it!

P.S. FYI-I posted what I found out about hair regrowth as a comment to that blog. Click HERE

4/20/09 Countdown... 5! 4! 3! 2!...

*Portion of Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

I called my bariatric coordinator this morning because I noticed the post-op diet I received in class didn't jive with what the NUT gave me. Apparently they just revised it and took off fruit and vegetable juice. So, for the first 2-3 weeks post-op the only calories I'm allowed are broth (almost no cal...but the homemade stuff I made is probably got more nutrients than the canned, thank goodness!), and 3 8oz. glasses of skim milk (how many calories could possibly be in 3C of skim milk...I'll have to look that up). I was about to complain that I'll be fainting on only a few calories a day when she said I can add some very low cal SF powdered drink mix to the milk, like SF Carnation (we still can't find that one, so DH just found me another one). I know I won't be hungry the first week, but I'm going to be starving after that...I know...it's all pay-back for the no pre-op diet. Ahh well, I’m not complaining…yet (LOL).

DH and I are going out tonight for our 27th anniversary, since I certainly won't be up to anything but broth on our actual anniversary this Friday.

I've been wildly getting things ready today; called my insurance to make sure the home prescriptions are covered (apparently Nexium sometimes isn't covered, but it is on ours), I started packing for the hospital, made a list of info. for DH, scrubbed my body with anti-bacterial soap as instructed, shaved my stomach and I can't tell the difference...my tiny blonde hairs were almost invisible, but now I can say it’s already done when they come at me with the dull dry razor (thanks for cluing me in that it's better to do this at home…and I’m coming after you if I sprout dark stomach hairs this summer), and I drew up my porthole (thanks Lena) picture on paper…those in-the-know will remember I have a choice on my port site. I still haven’t come up with whether I need words or not, but I’m a little afraid he won’t get it or think it’s a badly done tattoo and avoid that area completely. I’ll have to do this upside down on myself as DH can’t trace a straight line to save his life. If it turns out badly I’ll scrap the idea, but if I go for it I’ll take a pic for you. Off to finish packing...

Countdown...5! 4! 3! 2!...

4/3/09 Approved!!!!!!!

Woot! As if this week could get any better! Break out the champagne for everyone...oops, all you pre-banders (won't be drinking that after Lap Band). I got my approval in about 48 hours!

I couldn't believe insurance gal at the Surgeon's office called me at 5:05pm...stayed late to call me, and get this she was laughing at my screams of glee and said 'You've been such a pleasure to work with!' (Does she remember me- the April Fool with the fax machine screeching in her ear on Wed.?) I kissed her behind on the spot...made my weekend. I'm off to do my April Bunny hop dance!!!

4/1/09 I'm an April Fool!

HELL

Yes, it's frozen over. Have you seen my 6 mo. Diet Ticker lately? Well, I’m done! DONE I TELL YOU!!! The 6 months of the insurance 'dieting' is so over!!!!!! Newbies, cover your ears just a sec….All you LBers who posted that “The 6 months goes so fast!” I want you to know I have all your names and I learned how to Google Earth my way to your houses and yes, I’m letting this one slide, but if I find out this ‘restriction thing’ that you also posted about is yet another LB Urban Legend I’m coming after you!!! This has been the l—o—n—g—e—s—t 6 months of my life!!! Well, it didn’t help that I started looking at this last May, and it took me most of the summer to decide, and until September to get in to my PCP, and then I blew September and October because (I’m an idiot) and had to start again in November…and then I couldn’t do anything constructive to make the time fly by, like say, do Atkins…and so I past the time by (whining about) blogging every gory detail of my (dys)FUN(ctional) life and bored all my new friends on until they were so tired of my incessant (whining) blogging about my 6 months of (misery) dieting that they too, (wanted to throttle me) were counting down the days until my 6 months was over, (Just so they didn't have to listen to me anymore) but it was still a LONG 6 months! OK, my friends, here’s your reward…yes, I said reward…you’ve earned it…you were always there for me laughing, crying, ranting, (whining), and yes, peeing. You’ve come along on my magical ride and now here’s the pay off…

…the 6 months are over.

APRIL FOOLS!!!

No, I wasn’t lying and now you have to suffer through more months with me, the 6 months ARE over, but that’s NOT your reward…bet you can’t guess?..........time’s up!!!

I got my Band Date!!!!! (No, NOT April Fools!) Isn’t that great!!! What a reward!!! You were just calculating how many weeks of (whining) blogging about waiting to get my date you’d have to suffer through, and there will be NO (whining) blogs about that!! Good news for everyone! Here it is, served up on a silver platter just for you….drumroll please……my Band Birthday is April 22! April is going to be the best month ever…April 22, my new shiny band…then that same week, our 27th Anniversary (guess that won’t be a wild night)…and my big 5-0 Birthday (Broth for everyone!), and the next day DH’s 50th Birthday! Wow, all within 7 days! Then I have the two days to get the house cleaned, party decorations up and meals made (maybe catered now) for all the company coming on May 1st for DD’s Graduation!

Now here’s the ‘cherry on top’…wait for it…………..there’s NO pre-op diet! Yep, I won’t be (whining) blogging about that either! Just a pre-op class next week and a physical with the nurse there sometime before banding and I’m golden (oh, and that approval thing…I should know within 72 hours, submitted today…she said ‘no worries’, so I’m not).

Let the ROASTING begin…. I can hear it now….
BG- Thank GAWD it’s over!
BG- If I had to hear one more word about your suffering with not having to lose much while we're all out here sweating and counting every blessed calorie…
BG- Whine, whine, whine...
BG- I thought you were banded years ago!

OK, maybe not that last one…I’m off to blog the (boring) nitty-gritty about my day.

3/8/09 Ticker Update Time!

Whoo Hoo! I can finally update my Ticker! One “ten pound head” (with my fat face) gone and nine or so more to go. I think I win the award for slowest weight loss pre-band…actually, probably not as I’ve run across quite a few others here who also weren’t allowed to lose much on their Six Months of Lingering Torture. I know, I know, you’re saying what’s so torturous with not losing much weight??!! Gee I REALLY feel sorry for you BG! I’m telling you if you’ve come to this point in your life where you feel desperate enough to get WLS, then you’re ready to make the change, and you want it to start happening sooner, rather than later. I’d describe my feelings much like an alcoholic would about ‘hitting bottom’. For me, and I think many others, we had some sort of turning point, or ‘moment’ where we hit bottom and decided to consider WLS (I’ll share my moment another time). It’s actually been hard while you’re researching and learning all this not to be able to put it all into practice. I swear it's made the time go slower too, probably because you don't have as much to do (tracking calories, exercising, planning/cooking diet meals). If you’re someone like me (professional dieter) who is always either gaining or losing it’s been weird staying about the same weight. I haven’t stayed about the same weight this long in I don’t know when!

So ‘breaking’ my plan, and actually starting my stricter diet this last month of the Six Months of Lingering Torture, has been a great feeling. I started my dieting last Monday and haven’t really been cutting the calories too drastically yet (I’m planning to step things down) as I didn’t want to lose a TON of weight this month. Well, you can all call me an ‘April Fool’ if I mess this whole thing up and get denied! Time to update my Ticker tomorrow…FINALLY!...I hope I remember how!

Me, Summer 2010: (Shar pei puppy) “Lost Weight? Me? Thanks for noticing!”

3/3/09 Better Late than Never

*Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

3/2/09 Another Month Bites the Dust!

So this morning we were out and at PT by 7:30am; upper body is doing great, lower back is…fair. I skipped out early on my last PT exercise so I could come home to weigh-in at home before the actual weigh-in…always such an ordeal. This is too much stress/work…stupid insurance (for the 247th x).

Month 5 weigh in...“On the scale”…and up I went…I could barely look…242...no loss, no gain…I’m golden.

A different CRNP came in and I gave her my sample ‘Letter of Medical Clearance and Medical Necessity’ with my information on it so they’ll have the next month to type their own up/change it and have it ready for me at my final visit. That’s the plan anyway…the only thing between me and submitting for approval now is the last monthly weigh-in and the letter from my PCP. If these are done the first few days in April, the surgeon’s office will set a tentative surgery date and I’ll get to go to my pre-op class (held twice a month). As my Dad would say ‘There’s a snowballs chance in Hell’ that I’ll get my band in April, but I haven’t given up hope yet (eternal optimist, remember). I’ve got a ton of company coming May 1st for DD’s college graduation (hers will be a weekend with our huge extended family, but no enormous party) and in a perfect world I’d have my band and be at least a week out by then. If not, I’ll have to sandwich it in between the two graduations…DS’s HS graduation is the beginning of June…HUGE party for that one with TONS of work prior, so I’d rather be well healed before that one, but we don’t always get what we want…and NO, that isn’t a complaint…just a wish…a girl can dream...

I’ll take my band….in a box, with a fox, in a house, with a mouse, here and there, ANYWHERE!

2/19/09 None Upon Thars

I want a Star-Belly, and I want it NOW!!!

I’m getting impatient…yes, again. Patience has never been one of my virtues. This 6 month time warp in super slow-mo is starting to feel like Groundhog Day (and I’m in PA, so I should know). I’ve done my research and I feel prepared, I’ve chosen my type of band, and even my port site (sounds like I’m going on a cruise…I wish), I’m done with all the pre-op doc visits, and yet I’ve got 6 weeks left before I can even ‘submit for approval’ (at least that sounds like an optimistic phrase).

Maybe it’s this gloomy time of year…I wake up every day enthusiastic and ready and yet…no band…like I said, Groundhog Day. Can I just say for the 248th time…insurance rules are diabolical…DIABOLICAL I tell you!!!

I’m jealous of those with Stars upon thars…you Star-Bellies…now where’s that Sylvester McMonkey McBean and his very peculiar machine?!!

2/10/09 Somewhere, Over the Rainbow...

Well as far as I know, as of today I’m now done with all the “other doctors” pre-op stuff. It’s been a ‘long and winding road’ and it’s not quite over yet…I’m still on this yellow brick road to Oz and apparently I’m playing all the parts (that’s OK, I always loved dress-up)!

Remember that Shoe Fairy I put up a wanted sign for? Well she answered and brought me some ruby slippers when I crushed the Wicked BMI/Comorbidity Witch my first weigh in (even if I did pee my pants doing it).

I got my award of courage for making it through that claustrophobic 45 min. closed MRI for my heart…so I’m the not-so-Cowardly Lion!

I just got clearance at my visit with the Cardiologist this afternoon, and my heart MRI from last week and my EKG today were fine. So contrary to my teenagers thoughts sometimes…I do have a heart…I’m the Tin woMan!

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In response to Comments to watch out for the flying monkeys:

'Flying Monkeys'...ooooh, I'm still scared of them...don't worry, we'll get Toto to bite them! ...and those soldiers...I still remember how I felt as a kid when they'd start into that marching song....SCARY...Yoee..O..YO...O!

I found out this fall from the brain MRI for my migraines that I do have a brain…it’s “unremarkable” as the docs report said, but it’s a brain…so I’m the Scarecrow!

If I can make it past the Wicked Witch of Insurance Paperwork with two more monthly visits at my PCP then they’ll send it all in for approval to the Wizard…let’s just hope he’s “Wise and Wonderful”. There’s no place like Bandlandia...

2/2/09 Month 4

I had my 4th monthly weigh-in (just 2 more to go!). I have finally won over the Nurse at my PCP’s office (yes, I’ve viewed this as a challenge)...just got her talking about the SB game and how we should have ALL had a 2 hour delay this morning to recover (like the Pittsburgh schools did)…yep, she was tired too (we were chatting like old friends about how tired we were).

I was a little worried about weighing in after the Football Game watching Feastival, so I wore my lightest clothing and shoes (the problem is I’m not a good strategist…scheduling a weigh in the morning after a party, need I say more?). OK, again I screwed myself…my light clothing worked too well…the Nurse weighed me and I lost 4 pounds.

My PCP's CRNP came in and I told her that at my surgeon’s consult I also met with their insurance lady and apparently my insurance is easy to work with and all the extra information and educational stuff we were collecting (you know personal letters, etc.) is needed for everyone else EXCEPT me/my insurance (wish I’d known that BEFORE we started the extra work…sigh, oh well). So we’re now doing just simplified forms with a few check marks and fill in’s…easy-peasy and she insists the insurance company will approve me within 72 hours if we just send these forms…OK, I’m trusting you know best. Now I want you all as witnesses in case I get denied for not collecting enough information…because I WILL be ranting if that happens.

My PCP visit ended with her ordering new x-rays for my shoulder problems and she upped my hypertension meds. as my bottom number is still over 90…apparently not ideal.

1/13/09 Psych and Surgeon Consult

*Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

1/9/09 Insurance is Inept

Today I called my insurance company for the first time in order to confirm/ask for clarification on my benefits. I spent some time gathering information and preparing for this call online. Let’s just say I wish the insurance people were half as prepared. I really only had a few questions; 1) I wanted to confirm my policy hadn’t changed this year. 2) When exactly can I apply for approval, so what exactly is 6 months/diet (is it a certain no. of days? Is it 6 weigh-ins or 7? I’ve heard all these answers on the web.). 3) What will my costs be- deductable, percentages, maximums? And how are fills covered? 4) Do I need to remain above the minimum 35 BMI until approval?

Is it too much to ask for some clarification? In a world such as insurance where everything is supposed to be black and white, why is there so much gray? I play fair (OK, except the layers)…I get that they need minimum BMI’s and can’t just arbitrarily approve people…I won’t whine about the rules. I’m a girl; I don’t mind reading the directions, but, for example, what the heck is up with just listing examples of some comorbidities, etc., dot, dot, dot. Why not just list the specific list of ones that will gain you approval so you know if you should apply or not? Why do I have to decipher after many hours on the internet that only 5 of the obesity related comorbidities really count at all toward approval? If there are specific rules why the @%&* aren’t the rules to this ‘game’ spelled out clearly? It’s like trying to play a game that your kids made up and the rules just keep changing.

I was sweet as pie on the phone…we weren’t making any headway until I told the rep. that I had a copy of last year’s policy…OK, there we go #1 down…no changes. Then came the 6 mo. question and I explained it further. She put me on hold as she asked her supervisor. When she came back she told me it all depended on whether I’m outpatient or inpatient as different departments handle these. OK, I’m in, so WHAT DOES 6 MO. MEAN? I know you’re all screaming at me, better safe then sorry, just do the extra mo., but this is a major difference in BG-land. My kids are both graduating the next mo. so that will be dicey with ceremonies, company and parties. We skipped to costs and they were what I expected ($1000 max), but she had no idea what a fill even was. At that point she transferred me to the pre-authorization department. The rep. that answered was immediately p.o.’d when she found out I wasn’t a Drs. office and all she would tell me was my Dr. would fax the papers to them for approval…she couldn’t answer anything else. Frustration.

I took a deep breath (sigh) and decided not to sweat it as I have my surgeon’s consult next Tuesday. I’ll be meeting with the insurance expert from the surgeon’s office as well as the surgeon. She seemed to be very aware of my insurance co., so I’m hoping she has my answers.

OK, here’s my real rant…My last job being in business process improvement, this part burns me…I’m not mad at the rules, I’m mad that if there are rules, no one gave all of them to me and this is plain stupid. How can this not lead to more costs for insurance? I get that by being vague they might be able to deny a few more people at the end, but weigh that against all those who wouldn’t have ever embarked upon this process if they knew they didn’t meet the qualifications…how much money is lost on them? How many people go through months of PCP visits, pre-op visits with psych, NUT, etc. (how much does that cost?) only to get denied for something the insurance co. should have spelled out to begin with.

As difficult as diets have been for me in the past, it doesn’t begin to compare to this insurance maze. I just don’t get the game, or even more, why there’s even a game to begin with…and I’m just starting.

1/8/09 Support and a Silver Lining

January seems to be the time for all kinds of cutbacks…cutbacks of the calorie kind and now, in this economy, corporate cutbacks. Like many of you, we’ve also been hit by that fear. DH knew that the company he works for wouldn’t be immune and changes were coming soon. He’s in a key position so we’re hopeful, but we also know to plan. We talked through all the possible implications for us and yes, I worried silently, and perhaps selfishly (yes, this is the new selfish me, I’m finally ready to put me first this year, and yes, that’s still guilt you hear), that we won’t have the same great insurance when it comes time for my surgery this Spring. All my plans may be for naught. I’ve been trying to keep the stress levels at home at a minimum, but with 3 teens, that’s sometimes easier said than done.

DH's company announced yesterday that MAJOR cutbacks are planned and we’re talking MAJOR, not many details, but the amount of $$$ that will be coming out of this is huge…fear is reality. He’s been talking about what a grim atmosphere it is at work. I can relate to what he’s experiencing. I made it through a period of major layoffs about 15 years ago while working for a Fortune 500…at company headquarters where employees families had all worked there for many generations going way back…layoffs for people like that was more than grim, they felt betrayed; like their family was turning them out…it was painful. I also know that change is inevitable and life brings tests for us sometimes and ‘what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger’. DH and I have been through work trials before and it was hard, but we made it through. DH reinvented himself in the world of business, as did I (from teacher), and he worked hard to get his MBA over 8 years at night. Like I said, tests can make you stronger…so no matter what is to come, we’ll make it through.

Now DH obviously thin as are my kids, so relating to my level of desperation that has led me to WLS is hard for him to truly understand. He’s seen me lose the weight and gain it back, more times than I can count…he’s seen my struggle. I’ve shared with him as much as I can about my journey and I know he understands how important this is to me, but other than coming to meetings, he’s had a hard time knowing how to support me in this. Well, he came home tonight and told me of the latest updates at work…we should know what will happen with jobs in February...He had gathered all the information on the severance package (just in case) and we talked through all the details…but do you know what came next? All I can say is support comes in all kinds of packages..and I love my DH. He had also looked into what would happen with our insurance…he announced that no matter what happens we’ll still have our same insurance when it’s time for my surgery…my new-oh-so-selfish side was so happy!

1/1/09 Join the 2009 WLS Parade!

To all you peeps planning WLS in 2009 I know you're welcoming this year with as
much anticipation as I am. There should be a parade today just for WLS patients. We’d wear shirts like our signatures with anything you felt comfortable sharing; surgery date, current BMI, hey even current weight if you’re really brave (or you’re now skinny).

We’d put all of us pre-ops at the front of the parade…it’s OK…If you can’t walk the 6 mile route we’d have floats we could ride on (hey, we’re a big group…no pun intended…we need more than that 5 1/2 mile route of the Rose Parade). The floats would be educational since pre-op is all about education…just think how much the public would learn. I know some here would be on the Insurance Maze float because they live everyday now with that crazed “will I be approved?” look…so they’ll fit right into that maze, with it’s piles of paperwork creating the walls of the maze. There’d be all those milestones along the maze…psych visit, etc. and at the end, in the back, those crazed pre-ops would hand over their papers and a giant insurance person with a big stamp in each hand “APPROVED” & “DENIED”…would stamp it (because of course we’d have animation). There’d be a 6 month diet and pre-op diet float…just think of the crazy float that pre-op diet would be…we could have swimmers doing laps in protein shakes, or maybe something not so happy as we’d want to garner some sympathy…I don’t even want to think about it yet. Myself, I’d be waving from the center of the LAP-BAND® float as the giant one inflates and deflates…we could wear smaller ones like hoola-hoops around our waists.

Then would come all those “in progress” peeps…they’d have cool floats too, but all about support because that’s what in progress is all about. Of course each of those monthly groups would build their own floats…going back in time…Think how cool these floats would be…New Year Hotties and Hunks (not sure yet?), Holiday Hotties, Notorious Novembers, Smashing Pumpkins, September Samurais, August All Stars, July Butterflies, June-Bugs, Shrinko de Mayo’s, April Avengers, Shrinking Shamrocks, Victorious Valentines,…we could go back for years! Oh, they’d be great…they’d have their own cheering sections in the crowd…because it’s all about family and friends support too.

Lastly would come all those at goal…and they’d just go nuts to end our parade in style…some would be wearing bikinis and Speedos...those pushing strollers that now have babies thanks in part to their WLS…and the floats, oh the floats (they’d pull their own of course because now they can)…Before and Afters of course…but all those things you couldn’t do before but now can…fitting in seats-roller coasters and amusement park rides…what a fun float that would be, and physical activities you’ve always wanted to try-floats of those holding trophies and blown up photos of them running marathons, climbing mountains, and playing in the parks with their families! What an inspiration this section would be!

What section would you be in? What would your float be?
Come, join the 2009 WLS Parade!!!

12/28/08 Awareness- Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head

*Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

11/20/08 OK, that wasn’t so bad

I got my first call from my “Healthwise” coach today. (In case you haven’t read…it’s a third party co. that DH's company hires to coach those with “issues” like mine on the health survey form we have to fill out for insurance). I had to answer all those embarrassing questions first…height, weight,…after that it doesn’t matter right? Anyhoo…we start into diet and I tell her about the Lap Band and the 6 mo. diet I’m on with my PCP. Didn’t say anything about the LB, but she loved the diet plan…start at 1600 cal. And step down 100 ea. month. She was so supportive and encouraging. Everything I said was immediately given positive reinforcement. I was feeling myself relax…like a day at the spa (or what I imagine it to be like since I’ve never been to one). We talked a little about my exercise habits, etc., then we set some goals for next month’s call. She’s all about reinforcing what the PCP is doing with me. I suggested adding 10 min. to my exercise routine, she suggested 5 min….it’s all about small changes she said and being able to easily make them. More supportive discussion…la, la, la…I’m feeling like I just got a massage (or what I imagine a massage to be like, since I’ve never had one). We set a date for next month…la, la, la…OK, that wasn’t so bad!

11/17/08 So Why Am I Insulted?

I got this call and the lady explains it’s about the health surveys we had to fill out for our insurance about a year ago. I’m thinking, OK maybe me going to the info. seminar at the hospitals triggered something since I filled in insurance info. on their form? Then she goes on to tell me my health survey tells them “You’re at risk for several things” (very nebulous…that word “things” )and “Would you like to sign up for our free program?” At this point I’m trying to confirm this is not some phone scam---free program (yeah right), but I don’t want to piss the woman off either…heck I don’t know if it’s someone who works at my DH's company even (I’m thinking...do they have health people in HR there?). “Could you tell me more about what this program is exactly?” I ask. After dancing back and forth a few times (now I’m really wondering if it’s a scam) she finally offers up some details “Someone will call you with regular phone appointments and they can help you with your issues….” ISSUES? I have ISSUES?? I don’t respond as I’m thinking this and so after a long pause she timidly says “…things like exercise and diet”. The magic word DIET. She thinks I need to go on a DIET? I’m insulted! My mind is racing… Who is this stranger telling me I need to go on a DIET? I don’t know what to do now…so again, I blurt…(I’m really stressing now—so spoken at 100 miles per hour…) “Well I’m working with my PCP and have started a diet and exercise program…I’m going to get the LAP-BAND®…and I’m not sure how your diet and exercise would fit in with that?” I'm nice, but inside I’m so insulted. But wait…now it’s sinking in…I’m realizing it’s not a scam…if she wanted money, she certainly wouldn’t be insulting me like this, would she?!!! Uh, oh. She’s legit. Better be nice. She says “Well, they can help you with things like stress even.” STRESS? WHAT STRESS?!!! She must have detected the stress in my voice…I’m thinking…Go to your happy place, deep breath… “Uh, stress, OK, fine.” I say. “Someone will call you in a week to get started.” and she explains it's a service the co. pays for through insurance...we say our goodbyes. I hang up and I’m thinking why do I feel so insulted…then I realize….NO ONE has ever told me I need to go on a diet…not in my entire life…it was always my idea to go on a diet...it was like someone calling me fat to my face for the first time ever! Wow! Reality check!! OK, she didn't make up the numbers I put on the health questionaire...I welcome the help…diet, exercise, stress even…bring it on! I get it, I AM fat, I know that!...but I ask myself again...So why am I insulted?