9/27/11 3 Days (OMG!)...(Countdown to BOOBs)

When it rains, it pours.  I knew this BOOB's trip would come at my busiest time of the year, but I'm SO behind!  The last of my three rounds (way TOO busy!) of house guests/company have come and gone (fun times), and now I have a few days left to pull this together!

Side note; I spent yesterday with DH at home (he NEVER stays home from work)...we went to the PCP in the am, and he has two Specialist tests next week...please send some good vibes/prayers this way...DH needs them. 

OK, so why am I taking the time to blog?!! ...because I need a laugh right now...

Prepare yourselves...I'm officially announcing that I will be running around naked in Chicago.


...(and NO, I will NOT be running the 5K)...
















Everyone will *gasp* at all my naked empty skin!...especially my bum...that is now all the way down in the back of my knees...


Apparently there is a dress-up night for the dinner Saturday and I have nothing to wear to the ball!  Do NOT even attempt to tell me 'Don't worry about it!' or  'You can wear anything!'  I'm a girl.  I have an empty closet.  I'm meeting these bloggers in real life for the first time.  It matters.


So I'm predicting that the Emperors New Clothes/naked at dinner isn't going to fly...the BOOBs will make me cover myself, lest they all get tossed out before we have a chance to order...hmmm...bread baskets on the tables...I need to save them from all those carbs...

I have no time to go shopping...I HATE shopping.  I spent 5 hours in Kohl's a few weeks ago...long story (a chapter's worth), but I came out without a dress...or new shoes.

Plan B...I have no energy or willpower left to go shopping anymore...I'm wearing a dress that's too tight for me...I bought it for DD for Christmas this year and it's a size 6.

I am NOT a size 6. 

Be forwarned, if you're sitting next to me that night, the studs on it will start popping off as I eat and hit you in the eye.  Just smile, look at me with your one good eye, and please tell me I look lovely.
































I have no time to shop for new shoes.  BTW...If they are still in one piece, I'm donating the cute shoes I will be wearing that night to the clothing exchange at BOOBs...I've only worn them once before and apparently my feet shrunk along with my brain.  They're a size 10 (bigfooted women rule), and I usually wore a 9 before, so I've got 3 shoe pads on and they still are falling off my feet.  I can't walk more than 10 feet without falling out of them (crap...I picked the salad bar dinner...I'm guessing that will not be served to me at the table).

If you see me falling over, catch me before I break my arm, or it will all be your fault.
 

If we go dancing and I look like Elaine/Seinfeld dancing on the dance floor, it's the shoes, not me. 


If I look like I've been drinking too much.

I have.

Can't wait!